I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME Sequel
by doorist
Summary: and finally, their lips met… finally, after all this time… finally, after everything they'd been through, maybe they could be together, after all?
1. Chapter 1

**I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE**

**AU** oneshot

10,840 words

**Pairing**: Orton/Runnels

**Rating:** NC17

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing apart from my own insanity

**A/N**: being AU, characterisation won't be 'as seen on tv'…this was originally for a teacher fic challenge from one of the comms on LJ about a year ago, was initially a different pairing but someone asked me ever so sweetly with big puppy dog eyes to change it. So I did…

**We don't need no education  
We don't need no thought control  
No dark sarcasm in the classroom  
Teachers leave the kids alone**

**HEY! TEACHER! LEAVE THOSE KIDS ALONE! **

Randal Orton stepped out of the car and looked around his new city properly for the first time. This was it, here he was, fresh out of grad school, new city, new life. He was free. He could do whatever he wanted. Only trouble was, alone in a new town, he hadn't exactly figured out what it was he wanted to do just yet. The world was at his feet, so to speak. So he decided to take a walk, find something to eat in one of the little places he'd seen along the street, knock back a few beers, just kick back before the new school term started on Monday.

He was nervous as hell, he remembered exactly what he'd been like back in the day whenever their class got a new teacher, it's not like it was that long ago after all and he didn't exactly relish the opportunity of standing up in front of a bunch of teenagers and living through the receiving end. But it was too late to change anything now. He'd just have to man up and deal. And til then, he was going to do his darndest to gain some liquid courage along the way.

He'd literally just finished moving into his new apartment and he was starving. Starving, tired and thirsty. Very thirsty. In fact, he was feeling an insatiable thirst for life right at that very moment, a thirst for new experiences, new friends, a new life altogether, one finally out of the shadow of his father. He was starting with a blank canvas, starting afresh.

He stared out the window as he polished off the last of his beer, pushing his empty plate away and leaning back in his chair as he surveyed the street outside the diner. Lots of bars and stuff round here, lots of good eats, and what looked to be some pretty happening clubs. One across the road in particular looked like it was the place to be if the rapidly forming queue outside was anything to go by. It was lit up by giant flaming torches along the front where it spelt out 'Tiger' in huge metallic letters. Every person going in seemed to be gorgeous, all being vetoed by the bouncers first, and, Randy realised with a shock, every single one of them was a man.

His initial reaction was one of horror as he stared, recoiling and averting his eyes as his dad's voice reverberated around his mind before he could stop it, names no decent human in a modern society should ever utter, that redneck attitude rearing its ugly head that he'd tried so hard to distance himself from, to dispel the myth that everyone south of his little hick town was a slack jawed yokel. But he wasn't so sure he believed everything his dad told him these days anyway, his eyes had been opened to so many new things at college, he had discovered new truths, and had questions he wanted to find his own answers to.

Besides, he couldn't have stopped himself from looking back even if he tried.

He watched curiously for awhile, deciding to stay and nurse a double Jack or three, to wash his dinner down of course, at least that's what he told himself.

He sat fascinated as man after man confidently strolled up, all chatting animatedly in two's, three's, big groups, even those arriving alone seemed to have a confident swagger about them. He marvelled at how they could be so open about themselves, such a far cry from his own sheltered upbringing, his quiet life in a small town, all gangly limbs, braces and acne cream ensuring enough nasty nicknames that he'd never be able to look in the mirror and see the fully blossomed man that had emerged and stared back at him every morning. But here, it was a far cry from his strict, miserable childhood. Here, he was so far removed, in every sense of the word, from the awkward youth that had escaped the town where everyone knew your business as well as your name, he didn't _have_ to be that person anymore, he didn't have to be _himself_. He didn't have to be lonely. He was free. Here, he could be whoever he wanted to be.

He wondered what it would be like inside, images of a heaving dance floor packed with gyrating bare chested men flashing through his mind, and he shook his head swiftly, trying to clear it as best he could as he hurriedly signalled for the bill, eager to be on his way.

Stepping outside, he gave the club another cursory glance before willing his feet to take him in the opposite direction. There were loads more places down here he could get drunk in… at least, there better be.

…

A few hours and a few more Jack's later, found Randy stumbling back along the pavement, wisely forgoing his car in favour of a short stroll back home. Said short stroll was turning out to be longer than expected as he doggedly covered every inch of the sidewalk, zigzagging along between the abundance of Friday night revellers making their way in the opposite direction.

Stopping to get his bearings, he struggled to remember the directions, having a horrible sensation he'd passed this way once already. He looked around and found himself out the front of the very same club he'd been so intrigued by earlier on. A group of loud, boisterous young guys crossed the road and headed straight up to the entrance, and before he even realised what he was doing he'd ingratiated himself amongst them and found himself ushered inside.

He stopped as he emerged wide eyed into the vast interior, letting his eyes adjust to the pulse of the strobe lighting through the dim, crowded space. Through the over abundance of smoke machine induced 'atmosphere', he could make out the heaving dance floor of sweaty, shiny chests and thrashing limbs gyrating at the back of the room, lit up sporadically by the bright flash of lasers on mirror balls, almost exactly as he'd envisaged earlier on.

Trying not to gawp like a fool, but unable to tear his eyes away from the throng of men, he felt suddenly sober as he desperately tried to take it all in, hungrily soaking it all up. He marvelled at the easy way everyone seemed to just be themselves, having a great time, laughing, joking, making out, as if they had nothing to hide. And in here, he realised they didn't, and neither did he.

Here he was totally anonymous, new in town, no overbearing father to disappoint, beginning a new life that he could make of whatever he wanted.

Noticing a few people were staring back at him as he loitered with intent by the door, he gulped down the wave of excitement suddenly overcoming him and averted his overly eager eyes, making his way straight to the bar. As he waited to be served, he kept his eyes facing forward, intent on the action behind him reflected in the mirror opposite. He found himself brazenly staring at all the handsome faces of the attractive men surrounding him at the bar, and a thrill ran all the way through him.

Taking a sip of the firey amber liquid now in his hand, he relished the sensation of its burning path down the back of his throat as he turned back to survey the room, swilling it round the glass to hear the satisfying crack of the ice as it cooled the alcohol before downing it in one. Picking up his second, he relaxed back against the bar, enjoying the proximity of the jostling throng vying for the attention of the barstaff, and his eyes returned once more to the jam packed dance floor.

It was something akin to a heaving mass orgy taking place before his very eyes, and he was mesmerised. Feeling his body begin to slowly unwind as the spirits did their job, he found the heavy, pulsing bass pumping through him impossible to ignore as he suddenly discovered hie was moving to the beat. He was itching to get out there, but he didn't have a clue where to begin, it wasn't like karaoke where you knew you just started at the beginning and stopped when you got to the end. This was about about feeling, something distinctly primal seemed to be surfacing, but the part of his brain that made those decisions was still sober enough to keep him and his instincts at bay by the relative safety of the bar.

As he contemplated his next move, he was jostled out of his reverie by someone squeezing in beside him to get served, the firm body continuing to move to the heavy beat as it pressed up against him.

"Oops, sorry!"

Looking round at the voice cheekily smirking its apologies, Randy found himself staring into sultry hooded blue eyes gazing at him through dark lashes before roaming unabashedly up and down his body.

"S'okay…" Randy rumbled in return, discovering his brain to mouth capabilities had somewhat deserted him, the feel of this smouldering man stood pressed against him as he waited innocently at the bar rendering him completely speechless. He couldn't bear to look, but at the same time he couldn't tear his eyes away from the hot body, and the young man laughed as he turned to speak directly in his ear,

"Are you checking me out?"

Randy flushed and his eyes instantly found themselves fixed to the floor as he stammered.

"It's okay you know, it's not like I _mind_, it's why we're all here after all… isn't it?"

"Uh…"

"Besides, I did it on purpose you know,"

"What?"

"Bumped into you,"

Randy's booze fog suddenly seemed thicker than he'd realised as he struggled to comprehend what was going on, "Huh?" Surely he must've missed part of the conversation, unless, was this guy hitting on him or what?

The young man laughed again, cracking open the cap on his bottle of water and taking a few gulps. His eyes never left Randy as he regarded him with interest from under hooded lids, chuckling to himself as the bigger man in turn couldn't tear his gaze from his adams apple, bobbing with the action as he drank. Randy unconsciously licked his lips, intrigued by the movement under the tanned skin, only snapping out of it when he realised he was talking again.

"Did I spill your drink?"

"Uh…" Randy looked down at the empty glass in his hand, unsure if he had, or if maybe he'd just swallowed it all down in his excitement without realising.

"You don't do this very often, do you?"

"What?"

"Talk. Have conversations…" Randy was fixed with a cheeky smile again as his cheeks flushed even further than before, but the young man continued, "I saw you watching the dance floor, looks like fun, dontcha think? You're dying to have a go, I can tell…" he whispered right into Randy's ear this time, his hand on his shoulder as he leaned in, their chests practically flush and Randy could feel the heat radiating off him, it was intoxiating,

"So I came over to ask you why you're not, and if you want to…" he took another long swig of his bottle and Randy was fixed on the way his lips attached themselves to the neck.

He finally remembered he was meant to be formulating a response as he realised he was being looked at wryly, an eyebrow arched in question at him at the cap was casually returned to the bottle, then suddenly his eyes fell out of their sockets in shock as he found his lips pressed against the ones he'd just been ogling, a tongue forcing its way in his mouth to find his own, lazily sucking it gently for a moment before pulling away.

"So you _do_ have a tongue, just checking, I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd find out…"

"I don't know how to dance!" Randy suddenly blurted out, his now melted brain struggling to process what had just happened, and he found himself being subjected to the hottest pout he'd ever seen, puppy dog eyes batting lashes at him before the young man descended into giggles at his expense, "You are just too cute," he laughed.

The warm breath on his neck sent a shiver through Randy like he'd never experienced before, increasing tenfold as he felt him leaning in again, pressing their bodies together as he started to move in time to the beat, his hands encouraging Randy to do the same, slowly building up the pace until they were moving together to the rhythm, and Randy found himself being led gradually away from the bar.

…..

Hours later, and Randy was lost in the feeling of the music dictating his every move, the bass owning him as he disappeared amongst the mass of heaving gyrating limbs, the only thing keeping him grounded was the feel of the young man moving against him, so lost was he in their own little world. The feel of the slight but muscular arms wrapping around his neck and the warm mouth seeking his own again sent a jolt of electricity through his body as their tongues danced together. His hips snapped forward of their own accord, his hands coming down to knead the firm denim clad ass, grinding himself into the matching heat. The moan it elicited from the succulent lips he was devouring went straight to his groin as he inadvertantly bucked forward, rocking his hips fervently, the friction almost too much to bear.

He wanted him, now. He needed him, now...

Next thing he knew, he was shooting his load down the back of the talented throat working expertly to accommodate it all, his back spasming hard against a cubicle door as the young man on his knees in front of him looked up into his eyes, tongue slowly licking the last drop from his still leaking slit as he retrieved his fingers from Randy's clenching interior. Standing up, he kissed him soundly, and tucking himself back in he reached for the door. "Ready?" he smirked, "I don't know about you but I sure as hell could do with a drink right about now,"

Randy was beyond coherent thought, his head still spinning from the mindblowing orgasm, his cock still hanging limply out the front of his jeans and his head resting back against the tiles. "You go ahead, I er… I just…"

"It's okay," he found himself kissed again as nimble fingers tucked him away and zipped him back up, smoothing his shirt down in front, "Whenever you're ready, I'll see you back out there, yeah?" he winked, and slipped out the door.

"Yeah," Randy nodded after him, sinking to the floor with his head in his hands as he realised the best orgasm of his life so far was just administered to him by a man. An amazing, gorgeous, _man_, had literally just blown his mind.

As he wandered out the fire escape for some air a few minutes later, his 4am brain was filled with images of dancing blue eyes and a shock of jet black hair. As he leant against the wall, he relived the past few hours in his mind, a blissful smile playing out across his lips. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but upon discovering the door had closed firmly behind him, he set off for home, smiling stupidly the whole way, right up until he passed out, fully clothed, as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Saturday night found Randy completely exhausted, when he'd finally surfaced around noon, killer hangover in tow, and loads of unpacking to do, he'd set about it like a man posessed. The full colour slow motion replay of the night before carried him through, set on repeat in his mind all day long. But when he found himself opening his eyes, unaware he'd even closed them, disorientated and groggy on the couch, he was disappointed to discover it was already gone 10pm, and he'd scuppered his evening plans of a possible repeat performance. But as he sat devouring his chinese take away a half hour later, a new lease of life took hold and he jumped in the shower, practically sprinting out the door before the new hour began.

He tried to look confident as he casually strolled along the street, but without the liquid courage of the night before he was actually shitting himself. He ducked into the first bar he came to, purely in order to swallow down a couple of hair of the dog doubles in quick succession to give him strength as he approached his destination.

Trying to muster the guts to go inside, he stood across the street for awhile, scoping the place out, hoping to catch a glimpse of … what was his name? He didn't even know! That in itself horrified yet thrilled him to the extent it spurred him on, and he crossed over and joined the queue before he had time to think any more about it.

Inside, he scanned the room as best he could with the dim lighting, and without looking like he was desperate, heading straight to the same spot at the bar as he'd stood the night before. Drinks knocked back, new one in hand, he turned to survey the dance floor, almost falling over in excitement as he saw him, only just now emerging through the main door.

But his elation quickly turned to despair, for as he looked on, an older, taller, muscular blond man put his arm around the lithe shoulders, pulling him close to whisper something in his ear with a smile, and they both laughed uproariously together for a moment, looking more than happy and content in each others company.

Randy turned away in dismay, unable to bring himself to watch any more, and knocked back another couple of doubles. He didn't even bother to turn back to the room, couldn't bring himself to take a peek in the mirrors in front of him, he didn't want to know. What was he thinking anyway? Good looking guy like that, he'd been stupid to get his hopes up the way he did.

As he wallowed in his own misery, nursing his glass, seemingly finding the ice swirling around the bottom particularly fascinating, he didn't notice the slim figure squeeze in next to him and regard him with interest. It was a good few minutes before the newcomer rolled his eyes in a huff and found himself having to accidently-on-purpose bang into Randy no less than three times before he got the older man's attention.

As Randy finally looked up in annoyance, the retort died on his lips as his eyes met brilliant blue and his face lit up instead, despite all his best efforts to remain as cool calm and collected as humanly possible. Not possible at all as it turned out. "Hey,"

"Hey…" Randy was mesmerised already.

"Where'd you get to last night? I waited for you…" his voice trailed off, sounding uncertain for the first time, but Randy was quick to quell any doubts that might be crossing his mind.

"You did?" his voice was filled with genuine surprise, "That's real sweet of you, really,"

"Yeah… but that's okay, if that was all you wanted, that's cool…"

"No! No, not at all, I tried to get back in…" he smiled nervously, looking down at his feet embarrassed at what he had to admit, "I went outside, and the door locked, they wouldn't let me back in round the front…" he looked back up into the now smiling eyes that were obviously trying not to laugh at his expense, "I wanted to come back in… honest!"

"Good! Here," he got out his phone and they swapped numbers, "Just in case it happens again, you know?" he said with a smirk.

"So… where were we… ?" he leant in slowly and languidly captured Randy's lips in a searing kiss, "Somewhere about there, wasn't it?"

Randy's brain was temporarily rendered incapable of formulating a single coherent thought, let alone speech or movement as he felt his bottom lip tugged softly between the other man's teeth. He couldn't stop the moan inadvertantly released against the hot mouth, which with a chuckle of its own, the soft lips departed, leaving his own lips to form a pout in their wake as they subconsciously followed. Blinking rapidly as his brain kicked back into gear, he finally gulped and took a deep breath, "Yeah, yeah, I think so…"

The chuckle intensified as the warm lips found his own again briefly before long fingers curled around his hand, "Wanna dance some more?"

But it wasn't an inquiry it was a demand, as he found himself whisked away to the pumping, smoke machine overloaded orgy at the back of the room, just like the night before.

Hours later they emerged, laughing and sweaty and completely wrapped up in each other as they took a time out, desperate for some air, and to quench their thirst on a number of levels.

As they stood out the back in the dark, the fire door propped open still at this time of night, they passed a bottle of water between them and tentatively tried not to jump each other then and there in front of all and sundry.

"Wanna get outta here?"

Randy froze, the words in one ear causing his brain to temporarily spasm out through the other and drift off into the night, but before he had a chance to scream yes from the rooftops, he found himself being led away, hand in hand, eagerly following the cheeky smile enticing him from his comfort zone once more. "Where are we going?"

But all he received in reply was a smirk as they reached the front, squinting into the brighter lights, their hands dropping to their sides instantly, and he stuffed them into his pockets nervously, following hesitantly as they stepped back into the real world, "Wait…"

"I know a place, c'mon,"

"Hold up a minute,"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing's wrong… it's just, look, I don't even know your name…"

"CODEMAN!" A massive voice suddenly boomed in their ears, and Randy looked up in shock at the hulking figure of the enormous blond guy from earlier, even bigger up close than he looked before, "Cody, where you been man? You heading off little fella?"

Randy received a questioning look from both of them for a second before Cody responded, "Yeah man, I think so, thanks for the ride hey,"

"No probs, I'll catch you later… who's this?"

Randy almost shrank under the scrutiny, the larger than life persona looming over him, "Randy," he squeaked, holding out his hand politely.

"Uh…Randy," Cody began,"This is Dustin, my brother," he said, trying not to laugh at Dustin's amusement at the terrified expression on Randy's face.

"Pleased to meet you, sir,"

"Likewise… Randy," Dustin drawled, shaking the proffered hand with a smirk, clapping Cody on the back "You boys have fun now," he said with a wink, heading back up to the door.

"So…"

"So…"

"Cody?"

"Randy?"

"Yeah?" they both said it at the same time, laughing as they turned to make their way along the street.

"Look, uh… Cody, I live not far from here…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…"

"Sounds like a plan,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

…

As soon as the door shut behind them they were all over each other, falling over the remnants of boxes strewn everywhere in their haste to get to the bedroom.

"You want me to do you? How you wanna play this?" Cody was sucking on his neck as they stumbled onto the bed, and Randy could only stammer in response,

"Uh… I'll follow your lead…"

Cody drew back, looking him in the eye for a moment as if he wanted to say something else, before shrugging and pushing him down, clambouring on top, devouring his mouth, undoing all the fastenings he could as fast as he could and dispensing with every item of clothing in the blink of an eye, all without breaking the kiss. Suddenly his hand reached down between them and he was jacking them together, before making his way down the toned body beneath him, worshipping it with his mouth, until he finally reached the rock solid member in his hand.

"Hello again," he whispered, hot breath ghosting over the moist, swollen tip before he swirled his tongue around it, watching Randy arch his back and thrash about wildly. Reaching into his jeans he felt around for his wallet, pulling the foil square free and ripping it open with his teeth as he kept up the pace on Randy's cock with his other hand, unrolling down his straining shaft he slowly rubbed his well slicked head up and down over the puckering entrance, dipping in just a little further each time contact was made, before slowly starting to push inside. He felt Randy tense around him, and sped up his hand as he used every effort to keep his own body still. He could feel himself slipping in as Randy arched again, and Cody let him work it at his own pace, figuring he maybe hadn't done it this way round too often before. He leant forward, capturing his lips again in a gentle kiss that gradually worked itself up into a frenzied passion, setting a pace to match his hand as he felt Randy buck forward again, letting him slide the rest of the way inside the excruciatingly tight body.

"Oh my god…" Randy was whispering over and over as Cody began to move, rocking his hips slowly, concentrating on the furious kiss, letting Randy work his own hips forward as his body got used to the intrusion, "Oh my god… please… do it…"

"Yeah?" Cody asked, hips already moving of their own accord at the whispered demand, and it took all of three minutes before both of them were done, sticky, spent, panting in each others arms. Randy lay awake for ages, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, his very first time, finally, and it was as incredible as he'd always imagined. Even the fact that he was readily admitting he'd imagined it before was a revelation to him, a massive step, and he couldn't get enough of these new feelings. He sighed happily, hugging the already sleeping Cody close to him, more than happy to drift off into a contented slumber.

….

Neither of them saw much of the morning on Sunday, but Randy awoke to the new day with his cock in very capable hands, and his lips being cheekily nudged apart with gentle kisses. As his eyes finally fluttered open, straining to see properly in the dim room, it took him a moment to register the intense heat engulfing his loins and the weight slowly lowering itself down across his hips. Cody's fingers gripped tightly, nails digging into the firm skin of his shoulders as he linked his fingers behind his neck, easing forward slightly to draw him in for a teasing kiss.

"Morning," he breathed into his ear, fingers splayed on his chest as he pushed himself back upright, fully ensheathing Randy's straining shaft within his tight heat. Cody bit his lip, regarding Randy through his lashes and releasing a positively pornographic moan, the throaty growl almost sending Randy over the edge on its own as he slowly started to move.

Randy held his breath as Cody worked him into a frenzy, his peripheal vision blurring at the edges and running into a tunnel of clear sharp focus, his full attention on the image dead centre. Cody, cock in hand, head thrown back, chest heaving, was riding himself closer to his imminent release and Randy's eyes were fixed.

"Randy…" the word barely reached the air, but seeing it on his lips as he pumped himself furiously was enough to bring Randy plummeting to the brink,

"Cody I'm…"

But Cody barely even registered the warning, let alone had a chance to respond before he was shooting his load all over the sheets yet again, his clenching heat clamping erratically, hard and fast, around Randy's thick sex.

Randy felt like he'd been transported to a higher plane of consciousness as he felt his entire body stiffen with anticipation, his breath coming in laboured gasps as his chest heaved with the effort of staving off his climax until Cody had finished. But it seemed the younger man had other ideas as he regained his composure, staring down at Randy with a devillish smirk and clamping the tight heat of his inner recesses down hard and fast numerous times in quick succession.

"What are you waiting for Randy?" he whispered, nails digging in to the flesh at the top of his shoulders, "Cum for me…"

The guttural roar that errupted from the very depths of Randy's soul brought him crashing back to reality as his release ripped through him, tremors like shockwaves running the length of his body as he convulsed violently, almost throwing Cody from him as he rode through his orgasm.

"Easy tiger!" Cody laughed, easing himself free as he rolled to the side, snaking an arm across Randy's middle and capturing his lips for another feverish kiss, "Fuck," he sighed, "I needed that!" he laughed again as he trailed his finger teasingly up and down the taut stomach, waiting for Randy to get his breath back and return from wherever it was his mind had taken him. He glanced up at Randy who was opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish,

"You okay?" he laughed again as Randy finally turned to look at him,

"I …" his eyes were alight with something Cody couldn't quite place as he glanced at the clock, one of the few things Randy had managed to unpack.

"I have to go…" Cody peppered his face with kisses, "But I wanted to say thankyou…" he captured his lips again, lingering as long as he could before dragging himself away, "And I didn't wanna go without saying goodbye…"

Randy watched as he pulled his clothes back on, checking himself in the mirror, looking around for the bathroom, inclining his head at the room in question as if asking for permission. Randy smiled at the gesture, stretching himself out lazily as he yawned contentedly.

He smiled again as Cody re emerged, patting his hair and rubbing his eyes, "Well," he said, smiling in return, perching himself on the edge of the bed for one final kiss. "I had a really nice time Randy,"

"Me too…"

"See ya then…" he smirked again from the doorway, and was gone.

"See ya…" Randy smiled to himself as he whispered into his pillow again, rolling back over and drawing the covers around him as he closed his eyes, ready to start up the continuous replay of the newest addition to the movie reel in his head, to have Cody blow his mind all over again.

Monday morning arrived far too soon for anyone's liking, as it always does, but Cody groaned and rolled over, hitting the sleep button as his clock radio flashed, ridiculously loud, covering his head with his pillow as his mom shouted for him to get up. It was the first day back at school, his final year, and he couldn't be late. But he was so fucking tired, it'd been a big weekend, and last night, he just couldn't get this guy out of his head. Randal. They'd only just met, but he laid awake for hours going over their time together, working himself into a frenzy below his covers at the memory of taking his virgin hole. At least he thought he had, not that Randy had admitted as such, but it sure seemed that way. In fact, the more Cody thought about it, he wondered if it had been a weekend of firsts all round for Randy, he seemed so nervous and wide eyed about everything, even dancing. He smiled to himself, curling up into a ball as his mom shouted again, remembering the feel of the solid body beneath him, the shy smile, the deep rumble of that velvet voice that rolled over him like thunder and made his legs go weak at the knees. He wondered where Randy was from, and when he'd arrived, not long ago judging by the multitude of boxes all over his house, and he dragged himself into the shower wondering if he'd ever see him again.

…

Slumped down at his desk, ipod firmly in his ears, baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes and his baggy sweat pants covering up his body, Cody made sure his school persona was as different as possible to his weekend one. He'd really done a lot of growing up this summer, in more ways than one, and it felt weird to be back pretending to be something he wasn't again. At least he'd managed to bag a spot in the back row, in the far corner, where he could keep to himself and just get on with it. He fiddled with the track listing as the room began to fill up and looked up as someone chucked their stuff down on the desk next to him, sighing in relief as his friend Andrew slid into the chair.

"Dude,"

"Dude,"

"What're you doing here?"

"I guess a lot of people dropped out last year man, everything's merged and shit,"

"Really? I didn't even notice…" Cody pulled out his timetable to check he was actually in the right room, "Oh yeah…"

Andrew laughed, "Big weekend man? You look totally out of it!"

"Yeah, you could say that…" Cody smirked, "Big summer…"

"Yeah? Nice one man, nice one," They bumped fists, Andrew wondering out loud who their registration teacher was going to be seeing as they didn't recognise the name on the timetable at all. Cody sank further down in his chair with a sigh as he looked at the clock, "C'mon already, I just wanna get this over with,"

As he spoke the bell rang, "Finally…"

But what he wasn't expecting, was his eyes to literally fall out of his head as the door opened, the whole class turning to suss out the new teacher walking through. Cody's heart actually stopped beating for a second and he felt the urge to rub his eyes and look again to double check because this couldn't fucking be real. He knew his jaw was on the floor and he was fighting every urge to run like the wind.

It was Randy. It was fucking _Randy_. His _teacher_, was Randy. Oh my fucking god. Randy whose cock he'd had down the back of his throat on his knees in a toilet. Randy whose ass he'd pounded through the mattress for the very first time. Randy whose dreamy eyes and gorgeous body had been constantly in his head ever since he'd left him, spent and smiling, in bed yesterday morning.

Oh my fucking god.

"Looks like we've got ourselves a newbie…" he heard Andrew whisper beside him, and as he slid further down in his seat, instead of taking his hat off like he was meant to, he pulled it as far down as it was possible to go.

He managed to produce a grunted "Here!" as Randy called "Runnels?" in that low rumble while taking attendance, but he found it impossible to take in anything else he said as his mind just continued to repeat his name over and over again. Randal. Mr Orton. Randy. Randal Orton. Mr fucking Randal Orton.

It was the longest homeroom of his life, but somehow he managed to get through the whole class without Randy clocking him. After all, he knew he looked completely different to how he did on the weekend. he'd completely discarded his fashionable designer clothes that clung to him in all the right places in favour of baggy sports gear to do his best to blend in.

He watched Randy like a hawk from under the brim of his hat, he could tell he was nervous, he barely made eye contact with anyone at all let alone Cody, all slumped down no doubt projecting attitude galore from his back row hiding spot. He wondered how the hell he was going to get through this. He had to make sure Randy didn't notice… an impossible task, surely, but he had to try. Maybe he could switch classes? Or just not come? Or drop out altogether? His head was a mess and he just had to get out of there, the bell couldn't have come soon enough.

As soon as he got home he just threw himself down on his bed, buried his head under the pillow, and pretended the entire day hadn't happened. He was so on edge, he'd hardly paid a single bit of attention in any of his lessons. Not a good start to the year. He cast his mind back to his daydreams that morning, back to when everything was simple, when Randy wasn't his teacher and was just some hot guy he'd picked up and fucked on the weekend. But the problem was, Randy had been different from the start, he really liked him, he'd seemed… Cody couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was just something about him… he seemed really innocent somehow, and so fucking hot. He groaned again as he tried to figure out what to do, but short of never going back, running away, plastic surgery, he came up blank. He was just going to have to deal.

It was Randy he was really worried about though, he was going to be mortified when he realised… he'd have to completely ignore him at school, pretend he didn't notice, and totally avoid heading out to Tiger on the weekend.

How the hell was he going to get through this?

….

Day after day he sat through registration with his hat down low and his gruff 'Here!' the only word he uttered. Apart from to Andrew of course. But even then he tried to keep quiet, luckily being first thing in the morning worked to his advantage in that regard. By Friday, Randy still hadn't noticed him, he still hadn't discovered the 'C' in '' stood for Cody, for he was sure that would make Randy look in his direction if he did. But Andrew had discovered what Randy was actually there to teach, as well as being the newest and youngest addition to the sports department as the new wrestling coach, he was ."

"Oh really?" Cody's interest piqued, "Wrestling huh?" It explained his lean, toned physique, maybe he'd have to take in a match or two this year… or even try out… he grinned at the thought of the look on Randy's face if he turned up to do that, he'd never really do it, but it'd be priceless to see…

…..

It was Friday night, and on Friday nights, for the past few months, Cody had been heading to the city to stay at Dustin's so he could hit up the clubs. Tiger of course was his first choice, catering to his particular needs, but he just liked to get out on the dance floor and have some fun. If he managed to get any cock out of it then even better. But tonight, although he wanted to go, he wasn't sure if he should. He didn't want to run into Randy, he didn't want to cause trouble. He wondered if he should tell Dustin what had gone down, and on the drive over he seriously considered it.

"I fucked my teacher!"

"Hi Dustin, remember Randy? Guess what, he's my teacher!"

"I wanna fuck him on that huge big desk he's got up there…"

NO! No no no no no.

Cody shook his head as he pulled up the drive, debating what to do. It was all he thought about through dinner, and as he got ready to go, he almost stopped himself as he got to the front door.

"What the hell's up with you tonight man?" Dustin looked up at him over the top of the newspaper from his spot on the couch.

"Nothin', see ya tomorrow,"

"Okay, if you say so. See ya,"

He was meant to meet up with his clubbing buddies in a bar alongside Tiger, and he decided to try and convince them to head somewhere else afterwards instead. Anything to avoid confrontation…

So imagine his extreme surprise as he walked in the door, the very first person he saw was Randy, sitting alone at the bar, nursing a glass and looking fucking stunning, as usual.

He was back out the door before he even realised what he was doing, and back at Dustin's sitting on the other couch in a huff, arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face as the older man regarded him in concern.

"Okay, spill,"

"Nah man, it's cool." Cody lay himself out and turned to watch the tv, trying to convey the fact that there was no way he was talking about this.

"Dude, what the fuck? Something's been eating you since you got here, and the fact that you're even _here_, _now_, _again_, after you already left, what the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing, honest."

"Bullshit,"

"Dude, just leave it,"

"Is it that guy from last week? What's he done? Is he married? He hit you?"

"What? No!" But the blush creeping up Cody's cheek at the mere mention of Randy caught Dustin's attention.

"What's he done then?"

"Nothing, nothing wrong anyway, in fact, he's pretty much perfect…" Cody trailed off with a sigh, his eyes staring at the screen without seeing anything at all as he pictured how lonely Randy had looked sitting there at the bar like that. He wanted to go see him, he really did, but he couldn't. Simple as that.

"So what's the problem?"

Cody sat up, swinging his legs around and raking his fingers through his hair in frustration, his face falling forward to rest his chin in his hands.

"I really like him."

"So? What's the…"

"He's a fucking teacher,"

Dustin was silent for a moment, it all falling into place, "At your school?"

Cody just nodded.

"And you got to school on Monday…"

"And he walks in the door…"

"You both had a fucking heart attack, and have been in hiding ever since?"

"Almost… He didn't recognise me, at least not yet anyway, it's just a matter of time though really…"

"So he didn't see you?"

Cody just shook his head, "Not yet…"

"You can't hide forever Codes,"

"Yeah I know, I just, I really don't know what to do… you know?"

"Yeah… it's a tough one…"

"You can't tell anyone about this man, no one, I don't want him getting in trouble, it's not his fault… we didn't know…"

"It's cool, it's cool… Did you run into him just now? That why you're back here so damn fast?"

"Yeah, he didn't see me though, I kinda just freaked…"

"And ran?"

"Heh, yeah."

"Now what?"

"I dunno…" he pulled out his phone as he felt it vibrating in his pocket, sighing as he glanced at the screen.

"You have to tell him man."

"I know." He looked down at his phone again, running his thumb over the screen as he contemplated what to do next,

Message:

To: **Cody**

From: **Randy**

10:28pm

_I was just wondering if ur going 2b around 2nite? _

Sighing again, he reluctantly hit delete, before switching it off completely, throwing it down on the couch beside him and turning back to the tv.

Every day Cody walked into homeroom to hide at the back slumped down at his desk, and waited with baited breath for Randy to enter the class. He watched him as he talked easily to the other students, mentioned tryouts for his new wrestling teams, gained more confidence as every day wore on. Cody could see everyone liked him, he was easy going, laid back, and obviously being completely gorgeous scored him plenty of points to boot. And Cody just watched. Here, he had no right to say anything. Here he was a totally different person, to the one Randy knew at least, that's how it felt to him anyway. This Cody was the computer nerd, comic reading, wrestling figure collecting, permanently-attached-to-his-ipod rock geek. Whereas the one Randy knew was totally different, and he wanted to keep it that way, because Cody kept that side of himself as far away from school as possible.

The last thing he wanted to do was get in any trouble, which making his two selves one and the same would definitely do, but he could only remain a faceless name in the back row for so long, he had to tell him, before he found out the hard way. He just didn't know how.

As he sat there every morning, daydreaming, staring, not staring, staring some more, he couldn't help but let his mind wander into dangerous territory.

He imagined Randy in the showers after a game, stripping off his sweaty coaches uniform, the wrestling team long gone as he stepped naked under the spray, soaping himself up as Cody watched from afar, coming to help him rinse off all those hard to reach places, backs slamming him into the cold steel of the lockers afterwards as they fucked on the benches too…

and bent over that hulking great desk up the front of his classroom, ass in the air eagerly as Cody pumped into him from behind, shooting hot sticky ribbons together all over the dark wood, marking the desk as their own…

His thoughts drifted ahead to prom night, fuck he'd love to do that to him then, sneaking off together to christen the classroom when no one was looking… under the bleachers during a game with hundreds of people right there, oblivious…

and graduation, the things they could do after that! He wouldn't be a student forever, and as soon as he matriculated he'd be turning eighteen, it wasn't that long to wait, was it? As long as they never saw each other at school, when he was _this_ Cody, while he was still his student, Mr Orton's homeroom class of '09… but next year…? He wouldn't be in Mr Orton's class _next_ year…

No. Just no.

…

The following weekend was meant to be a friend's big birthday bash and Cody had promised he'd go, but again he was worried about running into Randy. He'd managed to get through a whole week without drawing any attention to himself and after last weekend's, well, non weekend, he was desperate for some fun and felt good as he walked into the bar.

Oh fuck no, not again! It was a totally different bar this time too. Randy was sitting there just like he had been the week before, drowning his sorrows by the look of him.

He would've turned on his heel and disappeared in an instant again if it hadn't been for the very loud shout across the whole room as soon as he'd made to go.

"CODEMAN!"

_Shit_… he turned around, smiling as naturally as he could in the direction of his friends, signalling he was getting a drink in before joining them. He couldn't avoid Randy now, he knew he'd seen him, he hadn't turned around since Cody started heading in his direction, but he'd looked up same as everyone else did when the shout went out. _Shit_…

"Hey you…" Cody smiled softly, unsure whether maybe Randy was actually trying to avoid him too and had just been really good at pretending he hadn't recognised him at school. But as soon as he looked up, the way Randy's eyes lit up told him otherwise. His heart pounded soundly in his chest as he saw the way Randy looked at him, and he forgot he wasn't supposed to be staring at him dreamily like that in return.

"Hey…" Randy's voice was quiet, he looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn't, just blushed faintly and looked back at his drink. "You want one?" he asked suddenly, gesturing toward the barman.

Cody shook his head, "Oh not for me, I'll just have a soda… thanks…"

Randy nodded and ordered himself the same again, looking up briefly, blushing even more as he realised Cody was looking at him.

"What?"

Cody shrugged, "What?"

Randy looked up at him again, Cody could see the hurt and hesitation on his face, "I didn't see you round last week…"

'_Well,_ _I saw you Randy, every fucking day. Have you any idea how hard that was to deal with? Seeing you there like that? Looking like that…'_

Cody bit his lip, "Yeah… I was pretty busy…" He debated which course of action to take, his own personal angels and demons fighting it out for him, '_and it's gonna have to stay that way man, why am I even standing here now? Make your excuses, and do one, c'mon, stop being a pussy…' _

But he just stood there, staring some more, not going anywhere, he didn't really want to, the debate now falling on deaf ears as it was pushed further into the back of his mind. The demon won. Or was it the angel? He wasn't quite sure… he didn't really care anymore…

"Get up to much?"

"Uh, yeah, well, no, I didn't get out really, was hanging with Dustin, our dad was in town…"

"Oh, cool."

"How about you?"

"Oh… nothing really, sorting the house out…" Randy lied, he didn't mention that he'd actually been to nearly all the bars in the area and propped up the one in Tiger all night, both nights in fact, in the hope of seeing Cody again.

"Yeah man, that was one hell of a lot of boxes you got yourself there,"

"Yeah… Cody… I, look, I was really hoping I'd get to see you again…"

"Oh… well… it's a pretty sure thing we would, somewhere, you know? Like now…" Cody hadn't expected it to be his classroom first thing on the Monday morning but hey…

"Yeah," Randy smiled at him now, gaining more confidence at Cody's words, his easy demeanor, his soft smile…

And Cody had to remind himself as he stared back that this was his teacher, why the hell was he the one doing the reassuring?

"Randy, look, I need to talk to you about something, but first, I want you to know that I meant what I said to you…"

"About what?"

"I really did have a real nice time with you, when we first met…" But before he could finish Randy was on his feet, standing so close he could feel the heat radiating off his body.

"Me too," They stared at each other for a moment, the look of desire more than evident on both their faces, despite Cody's attempt at the contrary, "Are you, are you going next door again? To Tiger? Do you wanna… dance with me?"

Cody looked over to his friends in the corner who were all looking on with interest at the exchange taking place, some of them had seen Randy his first night alone at the bar in Tiger and had more than actively encouraged Cody to go and work his magic on him, and were fully aware they'd been inseparable for the rest of the night.

He turned back to Randy, lowering his voice, "Randy, I really like you, I do, but… we, it's just that, I…" he sighed, shaking his head, he couldn't bring himself to say it, looking into Randy's already questioning eyes he just melted, "Look, see them there, all smirking at us?"

"Uh, yeah…"

"That's who I'm here with…"

Randy's face fell instantly, "Oh… right… anyone in particular?" he asked quietly,

"No, not like that!" Cody smiled at Randy's reaction, putting his hand on his arm to reassure him, feeling the shiver that ran through him and the trail of goosebumps that followed his touch, "They're my buds, and yes, we were gonna head out somewhere else after here, dunno where…"

He bit his lip as Randy looked at him with such a look of hope in his eyes that he crumbled completely, his resolve completely weakening to the point where all rational thought, all his good intentions went flying out the window, "But next door sounds good to me, what you reckon to me ditching them and heading on over with you right now?"

Cody's eyebrows actually raised themselves as he heard the words making their way out his mouth as his dick took over control of his brain, '_What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? I must be fucking mad, totally insane, shit… shit shit shit!'_

But the smile that lit up Randy's face was worth it, "Really?"

"Yeah, c'mon…" and with a wink over his shoulder to one corner of the room in particular, and a grin as big as Texas plastered across his face, they were gone.

And eight hours later, he found himself with Randy's legs over his shoulders and his cock pounding into his tight, but not quite so virgin hole, almost crying as the release ripped through him, tearing his heart in two as he knew what he had to do, this had to end, he had to finish it, he had to do it, now. As he fell spent, landing beside him on the bed, kissing him madly one last time before scrambling to get away from Randy's loving embrace, pulling on his clothes as fast as he possibly could, "I can't do this Randy, we have to stop, we can't, I'm sorry, I have to go..."

Cody sat fidgeting in his seat on Monday morning as he waited for the bell to ring, waiting for Randy to walk through the door. He felt terrible for running out on him like that, but he couldn't handle deceiving him any longer, he really liked him, and that was why he had to hurt him like this. Had to be cruel to be kind and all that. He didn't want to do this, make it impossible for them to ever go back, but it was the only way, he just didn't trust himself to stay away if he didn't tell him somehow.

He took his hat off, he put it back on, he took it off. Finally he heard the door open and more people started to file in and take their seats noisily. He took his sweatshirt off in preparation, he put it back on.

What the fuck was he doing? But no, stay calm.

Hat on.

Ready.

Breathe.

Randy walked in a few minutes later, Cody appearing his normal self for the time being. As he listened to Randy's soft voice calling the attendance, Cody pulled out his phone, quickly typing in a short text. As Randy sat back down at his desk and started rifling through some papers, Cody hit send, removed his baggy sweatshirt and placed his cap in front of him. He ran his hands through his hair and nervously over the front of his black button down shirt, smoothing out the soft material clinging nicely to all the right places on his suddenly visible taut body.

He was ready.

Message:

To: **Randy**

From: **Cody**

08:38am

_hi. it's me. i'm real sorry bout running out on u like that, it's 4the best, i hope u'll understand… c_

Message:

To: **Cody**

From: **Randy **

08:41am

_Hi, I didn't expect to hear from u again. what do u mean, it's for the best? cos i don't understand, did I do something wrong Cody?_

Cody looked up as he typed, seeing Randy turn his phone over and over in his palm, obviously waiting for a reply, looking at his watch as he worried his lip between his teeth and nervously tapped his foot.

Message:

To: **Randy**

From: **Cody**

08:43am

_no u didn't, in fact, u did everything perfect, but there's something u need 2 know_

Message:

To: **Cody**

From: **Randy **

08:44am

_What is it? C'mon man just put me outta my misery here, u know?_

Message:

To: **Randy**

From: **Cody**

08:49am

_1__st__ i just want u2 know that i really like u, i did right from the start. I shouldn't have gone back 4more like that, it was wrong, i know that, & i tried to stay away, but i couldn't resist u, I'm so sorry, the last thing I want to do is get u in trouble. I should've told u sooner, as soon as I realised._

Message:

To: **Cody**

From: **Randy **

08:51am

_Told me what? What r u talking about?_

Message:

To: **Randy**

From: **Cody**

08:52am

_look at me randy_

Message:

To: **Cody**

From: **Randy **

08:54am

_What? Cody, u'r not making sense man_

Message:

To: **Randy**

From: **Cody**

08:56am

_i'm sitting right here_

He sat with his hands clasped in front of him, his real self fully on display, just waiting for Randy to look up and realise.

Message:

To: **Randy**

From: **Cody**

08:58am

_i've been here the whole time Randy_

Randy finally looked up, wide, horrified eyes frantically searching the room to make it not true, but there he was, sitting right fucking there… how did he not see him before? How did he not notice? They stared at each other for what felt like the longest time, Randy in horror, Cody the picture of melancholy, how did mere seconds feel like the passing of a lifetime? Everything that had happened between them flashed before Randy's eyes, like it was supposed to before you died, and Randy felt sick, sick to his stomach, like his life was actually over already, or may as well be.

The bell sounded, breaking their trance, and Randy was out of the room faster than any of the students, vomiting what was left of his life down the pan, on his knees in the nearest toilet, ironic really.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME – Sequel**

**AU**  
words  
**Pairing:** Orton/Runnels  
**Rating: **NC17  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing apart from my own insanity  
**A/N:** being AU, characterisation won't be 'as seen on tv'…

…this was originally a oneshot called 'I'm Sitting Right Here' and was written with a different pairing for a 'teacher fic challenge' from an LJ comm about a year ago, but someone asked me ever so sweetly with big puppy dog eyes to 'candify' it. So I did, (you can find it in my fic list,) and then I wrote this sequel too...

...

I don't have to sell my soul  
he's already in me  
I don't need to sell my soul  
he's already in me  
I wanna be adored

...

It had been the longest week of Randy's life. On reflection, he had no idea how he'd even got through it. Although that bottle of Jack in his briefcase had helped somewhat… and he'd managed to explain away his throbbing head each day with fabricated murmurings of cold and flu, his red rimmed eyes flanked with deep purple bags adding conviction to the perfect cover for his nightly despair. And despite being perfectly aware of the fact that drinking himself into a stupor wasn't going to solve anything, it certainly helped him forget, helped dull his senses to the point where he didn't have to think about anything any more, helped him pass out in a deep state of blissful oblivion until his alarm cruelly ripped him back into reality again each morning…

He just couldn't believe it. Things had seemed so perfect… just when he'd finally started to let go, to be himself, to finally emerge blinking and bleary eyed out into the big wide world on his own away from the glowering scrutiny and endless disappointment of his overbearing father…

He thought he was finally free… and this is what happens. Why him? Why did this have to happen to him? Was it some kind of punishment? If God actually existed he was definitely sitting up there pointing and laughing at him, some fucked up combination of His wrath, and his dad saying 'I told you so', jeering, mocking him for being so stupid, for really thinking he could make his own decisions of that magnitude and get away with it… he could hear his voice now, _'this is what happens to people like you boy, people like __**that**__…' _

People like _that_. Like what? What did that make him? Was he…? He didn't know. It was killing him inside, eating him up, because as much as he tried to hide it, to deny it even to himself, all he knew for sure was that for the first time in his life, he really felt like he'd connected with another human being. And it was on another level entirely, Cody had literally blown his mind to the point where he felt there was no going back. He actually _felt_ _something_.

And he still did.

There was certainly no instant switching off of the once dormant feelings that had slowly been awakened deep within his very soul, there was no sudden about turn and back to the way things were as if nothing had happened. Yeah he felt sick, sick to his very stomach, had done so ever since he found out, but not because of what happened mind you, not because of what they'd done, the moments they'd shared… no. Not that he'd ever admit it but that was all carefully and lovingly archived in his internal memory bank, the file locked away in the 'memories to cherish' section…

It was the only occupant.

No, he felt sick because the true extent of the situation had hit him, and he definitely couldn't shake that feeling that at any second everything could be destroyed forever. Everything was at stake, his job, his career, his father, his entire family...

He'd already lost Cody, and he'd come to terms with that, well… eventually… hopefully… but everything else? He just didn't know what he'd do if it all came out.

And he really thought that everything was going so great there for awhile. For all of three minutes he'd been truly happy.

Cody had made him happy. He knew that. There was no point denying it, even if only to himself, and even if deep down he was worried it was far too soon to be having feelings the way he was for someone he'd only just met. He shook his head, banishing those thoughts back to the dark recesses of his brain, knowing there was no such thing as _too soon_, when the reality, without a doubt, was a resolute _never_.

But despite all his best efforts, he still couldn't stop thinking about him. He had completely shaken Randy to his very core, his very foundations, and had truly made him feel alive for the first time in his life. His senses, his imagination, everything was stirring with new life.

He thought back to that first night, how he'd gone home, wandering the streets with a stupid grin on his face and images of Cody on his knees in front of him in that dirty toilet… smouldering eyes staring up through hooded lids… that wicked smirk on his lips as they closed around him… All his inhibitions had vanished at that very moment, thundering bass resounding in his ears through the cubicle door, the hum of the club in the distance becoming increasingly irrelevant as he gave himself over to his desires in that tiny confined space, his senses honing in to savour every delicious second of this new experience.

His mind had instantly been filled with answers to questions he hadn't even known he'd had, and new questions were popping up one after the other out of nowhere and he couldn't stop them even if he tried. How would it feel to trail his fingertips up and down someone else's skin, the way Cody had done to him? Run them along someone else's cock for the first time, to touch one that wasn't his own? A rock solid length, pulsing with need, a need for _him_ to touch it? He'd learnt all he could from his own, but what about one that had been grown just for him, _because_ of him, how would that make him feel? One that _his_ touch had created? Questions reverberated around his still spinning mind, questions that caused all of the bloodcells in his entire body to have an instantaneous reunion in his nether regions.

He laughed to himself sadly as he remembered exactly how excited, how happy he felt that fateful first night, filled with exquisite anticipation of things to come. He thought back to his life at home, recalling the small number of girls his parents had insisted he chaperone to various social events, his high school prom, and the few that had attempted to attach themselves to him throughout college. Not once had any of them captured his imagination, not like Cody did. Never.

Not once did he feel inclined to let them in, to bare his soul, a soul he felt Cody had understood without even trying.

Understood, empathised with perhaps, despite only catching a glimpse. It was like he saw the real Randy hovering in the shadows and instead of running away and shunning him like he expected, he embraced him and came back for more. As different as they may have seemed on the surface he knew he definitely felt some kindred of spirit.

It was so different to anything else he'd ever experienced, the little he had that is, with the girls. It was weird. It was like he was looking for something in every girl he met, and he didn't know what it was, but he knew they didn't have it anyway. No one did. And he didn't know if they ever would. Until now.

Until Cody.

It was killing him. All these thoughts still constantly running rampant round his head, still so fresh, so raw, then seeing him sitting there like that, every day. Well, okay, not seeing him exactly, because he was doing his darndest to avoid looking even remotely in his direction, but just knowing he was there… the feeling in his gut was like a knife twisting and he felt the bile rise unbidden every time he thought about it, about him, about what they'd done…

It was like, it was almost as though it wasn't even real… like it was a different life, like it was two different people entirely, which in a way it was. Because _his_ Cody, the one he still desperately craved, was _not_ the one sitting there in front of him every morning. This quiet, sullen kid, stormy eyes hidden under a baseball cap. It just wasn't.

The Cody he knew was an amazing, confident man, with a smile that lit up his entire face and turned heads everywhere he went, with an amazing body, and sparkling, mischievious eyes… eyes as blue as the sky…

He was certainly _not_ like this, sunk down low in his chair, invisible in a sea of similarly attired sheep, brainwashed clones in their respective cliques, his baggiest clothes hiding him in the furthest corner of the room, avoiding all and sundry… avoiding _him_…

He sighed heavily, shaking himself from his thoughts. He knew Cody had done the right thing, it couldn't go on, hell, he'd be out on his ear if it ever got out as it was… he just had no idea how he'd ever be able to make it through the year with him sitting right there…

…

Cody hadn't seen Randy much since it had happened, partly due to the fact Randy had all but run from the room, but mostly because Cody had done some running of his own. For the rest of the week he struggled to get out of bed every morning, if at all, his mind swimming with images of Randy's mortified face every long, turbulant night.

He just couldn't face it. He'd attempted to go to his next class. He really had, but he found his legs had done what he knew his brain really wanted, and fled.

Not what his heart wanted however, which was nothing more than to sprint after Randy and take him in his arms and tell him he was sorry, that he wished it didn't have to be this way, that it didn't have to end like this. But it did. He knew it did. And there was nothing he could do about it. He knew that too.

But it didn't stop the feeling of abject misery descending over him. He felt numb. The look on Randy's face was haunting him already… he knew he should've told him sooner, he was kicking himself that he hadn't, why did he succumb, why? But he knew why. It was easy. Because he wanted to.

He wanted _him_. How could he not? The man was stunning for starters, but there was just something about him, Randy wasn't like other guys...

In a way, he couldn't understand why he was feeling like this, like there was actually something _there_, because it wasn't like there was any time invested in their… well it could hardly be considered a relationship, even though Cody already felt like he wanted it to be and had thought, well, _wished_, _dreamed_ that it might one day be heading that way…

But in reality, it was barely more than a one night stand that just happened to occur on numerous occasions. _Yeah, you keep telling yourself that Cody…_ he knew he was only kidding himself if he let his mind think that way, because really, even after such a short period of time, he knew it was more than that, he knew it was different.

Randy was different.

And Cody really wished he'd been able to explore that further… explore _him_ further… _no, no no no, stop it, stop thinking like that… don't torture yourself_… But did he only feel like that because he'd felt some sense of power, a sense of being the one in control, the more experienced for a change?

He had no doubt in his mind about that, that Randy was a complete novice in that regard, and he wondered if that was the only reason his resolve was so quickly and completely overruled and allowed him to succumb so easily whenever he saw him, his psyche simply giving in and withdrawing all willpower because he actually _wanted_ to continue the whole thing so badly, to delve into Randy's inner workings, to see how he ticked, cos he knew he could make him tick, oh yes, he certainly had some inner workings Cody would love to delve into and get properly accquainted with… introduce him to… _no no no no stop it… just fucking stop. _

He couldn't help the fact that his heart stopped beating every time he walked into the room, that he couldn't take his eyes off him every single damn time he saw him. He took his breath away, he really did. His thoughts drifted back to the very first time he laid eyes on him, standing alone at the bar, some instinctive urge willing his body to move to the beat even though he visibly looked as though he felt awkward and conspicuous about letting go like that, about _wanting_ to…

He remembered his incredulous eyes, nervous hands tightly grasping numerous shots of strong liquor continuously that he gulped in quick succession, completely unaware that all eyes were on him as he took in his obviously new surroundings.

Cody couldn't have stopped himself had he tried, before he even thought about it he was standing beside him. He just _had_ to know this man. He smiled at the memory of Randy's face, his complete shock at being approached, his total inability to function as he got more and more flustered, the look of incredulous disbelief on his face as he stared up at him from that dirty cubicle floor, that shy, lopsided smile he couldn't hide as the flush crept up his cheeks afterwards…

Cody sighed, it was so endearing. He wasn't trying to be something he's not, he was just himself. Just Randy. A gorgeous dude he picked up in a bar. Not his teacher for fucks sake, just _Randy_. It was so fucking unfair, why couldn't he just be some guy? Some random guy he met randomly in some random place. Well that's just it, he fucking was! That was the irony of it all and it fucking sucked!

And Cody figured Randy could be no more than 23, 22 even if he hadn't done post grad, he'd said it was his first job, fresh outta college… and Cody was one of the oldest in his year having turned 18 at the start of the summer holidays, the age was nothing! Nothing! And it's not like they were related or anything! But still it was something completely forbidden in a way society would never understand, just because of his chosen profession. Not to mention the fact everyone would just get the wrong idea and blow it all out of proportion. Cody was well aware of that much at the very least. Then add the whole gay thing to the mix on top of everything else... he couldn't even bear to think about it. Rabdy would be crucified, no doubt about it.

It really did suck. The fates couldn't be more cruel, because he really felt that here, he wasn't even the same person that Randy knew, in fact he strived not to be, he tried his absolute hardest not to bring that person to school, ever. He wasn't stupid, he knew what could happen, there was no way he was about to stand out from the crowd, not in this place, this town. That was the whole reason he went to stay with Dustin in the city every weekend, somewhere he could let his guard down and really be himself with no one to judge him. And he knew that poor guy sitting up the front of that classroom, hiding wretchedly behind that desk, no, that wasn't his Randy either.

_His_ Randy, ha! He wished. But no, that wasn't him at all.

Sure Cody hadn't exactly had that much time to really get to know him, but he certainly knew that much. The man was a wreck, you only had to look at him, and it pained him to see him like that, knowing he caused it. He couldn't stop blaming himself, even though there was nothing he could've done to prevent it… _we didn't know… we did nothing wrong…_ but Cody knew without a shadow of a doubt that nobody could ever find out. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin Randy's career. He'd already ruined his life…

…


	3. Chapter 3

**Pt2**

Randy wearily put his briefcase down on the kitchen table, instantly retrieving the bottle from within with a haste not uncommon in one so desperate. Uncapping the top he paused, staring down at the hefty glass in his hands as if weighing up his options. He lightly shifted it distractedly from palm to palm, finally taking a huge swig, a trickle running down his chin that he angrily swiped away with the back of his hand. Sinking desolately onto the couch, he cut a lonely figure, the picture of abject despair.

It continued in much the same fashion for the next few weeks, only getting worse when Cody returned to school after initially disappearing off the face of the earth. Randy couldn't really blame him. He wished he could do something similar. But _this_ was his escape, this here in his hand…

Finally it all got to be a bit too much and he found himself staggering along the pavement late one Friday night, knowing already where his feet were taking him despite his brain not yet making that conscious decision. He just needed something more tonight. Something else. Something to take his mind off things.

A release.

He didn't know what he was thinking as he entered the bar, but he couldn't stop his eyes from darting around, scanning the faces regarding him with interest. He was eager yet hesitant at the same time, scared of what he might find… in vain it transpired. He breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Or was it disappointment… he couldn't quite tell.

He was aware of exactly what he was doing, yet hadn't a clue as to why when the tall, dark haired man pushed a drink into his hand. He was oblivious to the less than friendly look on the other man's face, a face that should've been somewhat familiar to him had he had all his wits about him.

"You're not Cody," he slurred. His words already running together from the effects of his own earlier indulgences, yet he still found himself laughing, like it was the funniest thing in the world when he was taken by the hand and led through the throng towards the dance floor. Little did he know, there were more than one pair of eyes following his every move.

Dustin sat back and watched the spectacle that was an off-his-face Randal Orton from his seat in the corner, wondering exactly what it was that Cody's friends were looking so thunderous about. He debated texting Cody and telling him to get his butt on down here before Randy succumbed to the seemingly enticing lure of his buds. All of them it seemed. He thought maybe Cody had asked them to look out for him or something, but he knew he hadn't told them the real truth as to why he'd stopped seeing Randy and stopped going out altogether… yet that didn't explain the predatory and somewhat murderous look on their faces. Knowing how protective this scene could be of its own, he feared the worst, that they'd put two and two together and got it completely wrong, so he kept an eye on Randy from afar, for Cody's sake. And hell, if the dude didn't just seem like a nice guy, and he could see how cut up they both obviously were about everything that had happened.

He spied him later on when he was taking a leak, coming out of a cubicle and looking slightly worse for wear, Dustin couldn't help but wonder in which capacity as he watched him sway, glassy eyed, staggering against the wall as he attempted to do up his fly.

He lost sight of him for awhile as his own group of friends toasted the birthday boy they were all there for, but found him again a bit later when he went outside for a smoke.

'_Fucking hell_…' he swore under his breath as he saw him slumped on the ground in a corner, jeans round his knees, shirt ripped at the collar. It all looked to be administered during the throes of passion, wanted or unwanted he couldn't be sure. His heart went out to him, on Cody's behalf, as he cast a cursory glance over him to check for damage before helping him back to his feet.

"Randy? C'mon man, get the fuck outta here dude, go home, go on now,"

He thought he saw a flicker of recognition turn to abject fear as his glassy eyes widened momentarily, "It's okay, I'm not gonna kill you, I promise," he couldn't resist a smirk as the eyes now narrowed suspiciously, "Now get outta here. Don't make me carry you."

He watched as he staggered out through the back gate, the same one he got locked out of last time, stopping briefly to turn back to raise his finger in the air as if he'd only just realised who it was, but as he opened his mouth to speak, his stomach chose that very moment to evacuate its contents. Dustin held up his hands in mock surrender, backing into the open doorway as he stubbed out the last of his smoke, "You're on your own with that one kid, now go on, get,"

…

It was a few hours later when Dustin finally left the party, taking the side streets home and whistling to himself as he rolled a joint and swiftly made his way down the pavement. He'd wisely left his car at home, correctly anticipating the copious amounts he'd drink, and knowing he was flying out for a job in a couple of hours, he just figured he'd sleep on the plane and catch a cab. He was just lighting up when he heard the sound of footsteps pounding the pavement up ahead and saw an ominous looking bundle of clothes half hidden behind a bus shelter.

"What the fuck…" He ran over with his heart racing, slowing as he approached, "Shit, Randy? Randy!" His jeans were once again around his knees, and Dustin avoided looking at his bare ass with a grimace as he tried to determine, once again, whether this was a clumsy attempt at a piss and passing out, or something altogether more sinister. He got his answer soon enough when he rolled him over, blood pouring from a gash above his eye, his nose looking tender and swollen and his ribs already darkening to an ugly purple all along his left side. But he was breathing, and that's the main thing.

By the time they left the hospital four hours later, Dustin had already missed his flight, and Randy was still drunk and completely incoherent. He was bandaged up and feeling sorry for himself, his ribs strapped and stitches above his eye, but try as he might, Dustin could not get Randy's address out of him for love nor money. He kept rabbiting on about Missouri and don't tell his dad, he can't go back there and blah blah blah.

Dustin searched his pockets for anything that might contain his address, but it looked like his wallet and phone were both gone. He tried Cody's cell somewhere in the region of 400 times to see if he could remember where he lived, but to no avail, being 8am it was fair and reasonable to assume he was in a drunken slumber of his own.

With an exasperated growl, and pushing Randy's lolling head out of range of drooling on his shoulder, he ordered the cab to just take them back to his.

It was the last thing he wanted to do, just dumping him on Cody like this, especially under the circumstances, but he had another plane to catch and there was no way he was fucking around babysitting Randy any longer. At the very least he could get Cody to drive him home. But he frowned at that, realising Randy didn't appear to have any front door keys in his pockets either. Did he go out with a jacket containing all these missing items? Or was he robbed? But he figured he'd let Cody worry about that later as they drove up the drive, Dustin literally carrying Randy to the front door, hollering for Cody to let them in as he struggled under his dead weight.

Cody's eyes were practically out on stalks as he peered through the spy hole, just about passing out on the spot as Randy filled the entire thing. He opened the door a crack, Dustin growling at him to get out the fucking way as he heaved Randy through and headed straight for the spare bedroom.

Hovering in the doorway and nervously shifting from foot to foot, Cody watched in horror as the extent of Randy's injuries were revealed.

"What the fuck have you done?" he practically squeaked, his voice lost somewhere in the back of his throat.

"It wasn't me you fuckwit," Dustin growled,

"I was talking to him,"

"Well there's no point in doing that now is there? Look at the state of him, fucking idiot,"

"He's not!"

"I meant you!"

Dustin sighed impatiently, raking a hand over his short platinum hair as he finished sorting Randy out. "I know he's not, okay? But look, he's fucking asking for trouble if he keeps this up Codes," At Cody's gasp he sighed exasperated, "I'm not saying he _actually_ asked for it, but, well, can't deny it, dude brought it on himself…"

"What happened?" Cody was quiet, eyes fixed to the forlorn figure in the middle of the bed, and Dustin wasn't sure how to answer with the extent of his suspicions about Cody's own friends and how much he should reveal.

He filled him in as best he could, immediately leaving for the airport a few minutes later when his cab honked from the drive, but not without a list of strict instructions about getting him out of there as soon as he woke up, hissed sternly as he walked out the door.

"…and don't you fucking dare do anything that's gonna bring no cops round here Cody, got it?"

"I got it, I got it…"

"I'm serious Cody."

"I'm not fucking stupid man!"

"I know, I'm just saying…"

"I know! Fuck! I got it! Fuck man."

"Cody…" Dustin's voice softened as he turned back one last time,

"Dustin, he's in no fit state to do anything!" Cody's whisper was rising to a crescendo as he stalked after him, "Even if he wanted to!"

Dustin merely fixed him with a sceptically raised eyebrow as he walked backwards down the drive, "It's you I'm talking about!"

"Fuck you!"

Cody sighed, leaning back against the door and closing his eyes. Fuck fuck fuck. He really didn't have a clue what to do now. He stood in the lounge, hovering by the door and wringing his hands in worry, retracing his steps to and from the couch every few minutes, sitting down only to be on his feet again before he even realised what he was doing. He really wasn't sure what to do, Randy was out cold, but he wanted to go to him so badly it hurt, he was on the verge of tearing his hair out as he paced up and down.

How dare Dustin go on at him like that! As if he'd even dream of going in there and seducing him, because he knew that's what Dustin was getting at, and he felt almost hysterical with worry, what the fuck had really happened? Did Randy have any idea who did this to him? So many questions…

He wondered if he should call the cops when Randy woke up, then quickly decided against it, for now at least, there was no telling what out of it drunk Randal might say. The last thing he wanted was any slip of the tongue that might give them away…

Finally he sat down, turning on the tv and flicking channels to try distract him from thoughts of the man passed out in the room down the hall. Before he knew it he'd been through every single channel, barely resting on one long enough to even register what was on the screen. With an exasperated scowl he threw the remote down, crossing his arms in frustration across his chest. He didn't know why he was so angry. He was worried, and didn't know what to do, he felt completely hopeless, but more than that he was extremely anxious about what Randy's reaction might be. Waking to find himself in a strange room? Yeah, for starters, that was enough to freak a man out, but what about how he might react when he found out exactly whose room it was…

He didn't want him to panic, to wake up and think he'd been kidnapped! He wasn't sure if he was being stupid and paranoid or not, he didn't even know how much Randy remembered from the night before, he might know exactly where he is and how he got here, but just have been too out of it to care.

He decided to scrawl a note, explaining as much as he could and leave it by the bed, so at least if he didn't remember anything, Randy wouldn't freak when he woke up and had no idea where he was. Well, freak _too_ bad…

As he crept quietly towards to the door, he could already feel his resolve weakening, he hesitated outside, and the longer he stood there the less he felt he could go in. He decided to just push the note underneath, and sat back against the opposite wall, almost shaking as he laughed to himself about how jumpy he was. He knew he was being over sensitive, it wasn't like the cops were going to bash the door down just because he _looked_ at Randy.

He sighed in resignation as he pulled his knees up, cradling his head in his hands and deciding to just sit here and wait it out, listening for anything out of the ordinary. Like what, well, he didn't exactly know, but he figured he'd just wait anyway.

Barely ten minutes had passed and he found himself drifting off, getting lost in memories of their very short time together. He liked Randy, he liked him a lot, and he really wished things could be different. But they weren't, and there was nothing he could do about it, so instead of dwelling on the present and how much it sucked, he decided to stay firmly rooted in the past and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the cool plaster wall as daydreams washed over him, a slideshow of images taking over his mind.

…

He didn't know how long he'd been asleep, slumped against the wall like that, and he didn't know what woke him up. He was stiff and sore and sitting in an awkward position, head slumped to the side, and he wondered why on earth he was sitting out here on the floor. It all came back to him in a flash of panic as he jumped up, realising he could no longer hear the reassuring sound of the steady snore previously coming from the other side of the door.

Hesitantly pushing it slightly ajar, his eyes fell on the figure curled up in the middle of the bed. Roaming over his features, taking in the dressing across his deeply furrowed brow, his still beautiful face looking troubled even in sleep, and just as he was about to walk through, Randy snorted loudly in mid drunken splutter, causing Cody to jump out of his skin and quickly retreat. Laughing to himself as his heart rate returned to normal, he tried again, he really was on edge about this. Picking up the note from where it had landed on the floor, he cautiously walked forwards, one hesitant step after another, ready this time for any unexpected drunken utterances.

But what he wasn't ready for, was Randy releasing a forlorn sigh of the most epic proportions that Cody had ever heard. His heart clenched and his chest felt tight, and he bit his lip as he approached.

"Who could ever do something like this to you Randy?" he sighed heavily himself, placing the note on the bedside table and pausing at the edge of the bed, only just managing to stop himself from softly running his thumb across the flushed cheekbone, before pulling his arm away quickly and hurrying back to the door, finding that once he got there he was quite unable to bring himself to go through. He figured that being there when he awoke might in fact be a better plan, not having to leave him to wake up and panic, only to then find a note first before he had a clue what was going on...

He realised as he sank to the floor, that it was probably more for his own peace of mind than Randy's, and he rested his chin on his knees, hugging them to his chest as he watched on in concern, counting each time the comforter rose and fell with each steady breath.

…

Tentatively drawing up the armchair to the edge of the bed, Cody searched Randy's face in concern after a particularly violent coughing fit that he was positive would rouse him, or at the very least induce some nice vomiting. He pulled the bin within easy reach just in case and looked around the room, almost as though fearful someone would see him, _'Just for a minute, just to make sure he's okay…'_

He stared down at him, watching with increasing concern as his eyelashes fluttered and his breathing quickened towards another blustery fit, and without even realising what he was doing, he gently lifted Randy's large hand from on top of the covers, resting their palms together, rubbing his cheek against the soft skin on the back of his hand as he linked their fingers, biting his lip as his stomach turned itself inside out.

He sat there quietly for quite some time, just holding Randy's hand and watching his beautiful features go through a plethora of expressions as he slept. He went and made himself a pot of strong coffee, a plate of sandwiches, and grabbed a few bottles of water, settling himself down in the armchair, ready for the long haul. Randy hadn't even stirred when he returned, and Cody stared down at him sadly, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest as he quietly snored away, breathing heavily and steadily.

…


	4. Chapter 4

Pt 3

Randy could feel his eyelids attempt to prise themselves open, as heavy as iron doors, the excruciatingly bright light seeping in through even the tiniest crack causing them to instantly scrunch back up as tight as possible. The sequence repeated itself numerous times before he gave up, his brain ticking over as he stared into the blackness behind his eyes, waiting for his pupils to adjust to the light and his groggy mind to become clear enough to provide him with something vaguely resembling coherent thought.

He could feel a heavy distribution of weight along his arm, warmth radiating out to the tips of his fingers, fingers he gradually realised he had difficulty moving. Yet despite initial alarm bells ringing at his inability to pinpoint what was holding him down, something in his instinct had distinguished that it was somehow okay, and he relaxed into the sensation of calm that overtook him at that revelation.

But the feeling didn't last for long, as he suddenly realised he was incredibly sore, sore all over his entire body… His eyes flew open and he sat up far too quickly, gasping first at the piercing brightness stabbing his eyes before registering the sharp pain ripping through his torso, only to be compounded by the sudden pounding throb in his head.

Purely out of reflex to hold his aching body, he made to tear his arm away from the comforting warmth it was encased in, eyes focussing for the first time on the sleeping form cradling his hand, gently grasped between his own, fingers entwined.

He gasped, coughing uncontrollably as too much air spluttered into his lungs and he stared in shock, the wild eyed panic of the man roused suddenly from his slumber before him matching the look in his own eyes, and he tried to scramble away. But Randy's lungs had other ideas as he attempted to heave himself over the edge of the bed.

But this was exactly what Cody had anticipated, and springing into action he was there in a shot, the metal bin catching the worst of the remnants of Randy's stomach.

But Randy far from appreciated the gesture, his gut reaction to lash out between heaving gasps, "Get the fuck away from me! What the fuck are you doing?" barely having time to register the distraught look on Cody's face or the piece of paper thrown at him before burying himself in his bucket once more.

The next time he looked up, Cody had gone.

As his brain struggled to catch up and find a reason, any reason, for this situation, a million questions flew around his head, where was he? Why was he here? Surely not… they didn't… they couldn't have…? Fuuuuck no…

That thought process couldn't have ended much worse, culminating in another bout of violent heaving, the implications of that entire scenario instantly ensuring another massive wave of sickness washed over him…

…did anyone see them?

Fuck, anyone could've seen them! Why didn't Cody stop them? Fuck! He didn't even remember seeing Cody in the club… in fact, he couldn't remember a thing… fuck…

Fuck.

But then… why was he hurt? He clutched desperately at his ribs as his heaving chest felt like it was being ripped out, his fingertips feeling the sturdy strapping binding his body under his shirt. He glanced down, eyes widening in horror at the blood that had dried all down his arm. What the fuck had happened to him? He stared for a moment, his body slowly reminding him of various other aches and pains emanating from all over, all demanding his attention.

His nose felt tender, his eyes raw, his throat like it had been through a sandblaster, and what was that smell?

He finally found the courage to put the bin down, eyes taking in his surroundings for the first time, the armchair by the bed, the remnants of a tray of food, falling finally to the piece of paper lying haphazardly on the bedspread. He picked it up, curious, vaguely registering that Cody had flung it at him before fleeing the room, his eyes skimming over the hastily scrawled words.

Fuck. Shit. Oh my fucking god. So he hadn't just let himself drunkenly fuck Cody again as he'd feared, but the slight pull of torn skin he felt as he eased himself to the side of the bed definitely set off alarm bells somewhere in the back of his mind. He set the note aside, precariously balancing himself on the edge of the mattress for a moment, steadying himself as his feet found the floor. He tried to process what had happened, not sure if his head was swimming from the sheer magnitude of it all, or from the residual alcohol still posing as his bloodstream.

Stomach heaving once again, he reached for the bin, the contents only serving to encourage further addition via uncontrollable retching.

Finally calming, disgusted at the state he now found himself in, he wanted to just curl up in shame and die under the covers of the comfortable bed. In fact if it wasn't for him being, not in his own, but in Dustin's generously offered guest room bed, that's probably exactly what he'd be doing. Instead, he gingerly stood up, intending to find Cody and apologise, for everything. One thing he was certain of, he didn't expect to be forgiven for inflicting himself upon them like this any time soon.

So what he didn't expect to find, was Cody practically beside himself with worry that Randy wouldn't forgive _him_. When he found him on the couch, arms tight around his knees, he almost cowered when Randy appeared in the doorway, and they stared awkwardly at one another for a few agonising long moments before Cody started apologising over and over for being there, for _helping_. He instantly started rambling that he promised he hadn't done anything, he wasn't going to try anything, he wouldn't say a word, no one knew he was there…

"Cody, I'm so, so sorry,"

"What for? You haven't done anything wrong!"

"Just for…" Randy cringed, "Being a fucking idiot, for… for being _here_…" he finished quietly.

Cody's heart sank at the last words and he looked away, not wanting Randy to see how much that hurt him, despite knowing it was true, and it was for the best that he felt that way,

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not." Randy hung his head, once again taking in the sight of himself and flushing in shame, "Look at me! I'm pathetic."

"You're not." Cody was quick to disagree, shaking his head vehemently as he got up, making his way to where Randy leant against the doorframe, "Are… are you okay?" he asked quietly, his voice laced with genuine concern and his eyes searching for visible evidence as he approached, his spacial awareness stopping him just shy of invading the teacher/student boundary.

Randy looked down at himself, avoiding eye contact and flushing under the scrutiny, the slight burn every time he moved making him wonder whether he was okay or not, "I think so…"

"What happened?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing."

"You don't remember anything?"

"Not a lot." Shrugging, Randy shook his head, "I uh, I read your note… um, yeah, anything else I should know?"

It was Cody's turn to shrug, "I wasn't there… it was Dustin, he…"

"Saved me?" Randy scoffed at his own inability to look after himself,

"Well… he found you."

"I'm an idiot."

"You… you needed help Randy."

"I'm pathetic."

"Stop it! You're not! You've had a lot on your mind…"

"You don't say!" Randy hadn't intended the words to be laced with so much venom, and he cringed inwardly as he watched Cody's face fall.

"I'm so sorry, I just, I… _fuck_." Cody swore under his breath, "Randy I didn't mean to… I didn't know what to do!"

"I know! I know okay?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Yeah." Randy sighed dramatically, "So am I."

"I never meant to hurt you…"

"Cody…"

"Randy I really liked you! I never wanted any of this to happen!"

"_Don't_!" Randy spat, "Cody, _fuck_… don't even go there, just, _fuck_…"

"Sorry."

An uncomfortable silence grew between them as they both stood there refusing to look at each other, until Randy finally sighed, "I should go."

He hesitated for the briefest second, as if he wanted to say something else, before slowly prising himself off the doorframe. He winced at the strain on his ribs and the burning pull in his stretched skin, and Cody had to bite his tongue and refrain from begging him not to.

_Don't go… Randy please… stay with me?_

He watched him from the corner of his eye as he haltingly made his way back to his room, suddenly reminded of the painkillers the hospital had given to Dustin.

'_Shit,'_ he thought as he turned to follow him, hurrying to get them only to hesitate, before chucking them across the bed, "Here… you're supposed to take them with food…"

He wanted to tell him to stay, to tell him he'd make him something to eat, that he'd look after him… Instead, he churlishly suggested he have a shower first before inflicting himself on the outside world in that state.

At Randy's raised eyebrow he wordlessly passed him a clean towel from the wardrobe, muttering something about Dustin probably having some old clothes that'll fit him.

When he returned, he could hear the sound of the shower from the ensuite and laid the clothes out on the bed with a huff. He quickly retreated to the kitchen, deciding he'd feel far too uncomfortable being there when Randy came out, despite their previous naked encounters… and he figured the least he could do was finish playing the good samaritan. He knocked together a round of sandwiches and made a pot of strong coffee and was just debating whether or not to take them in on a tray or if that was way too desperate, when Randy came in, hesitating in the doorway.

Cody froze for a second, taking in the comical sight of him dwarfed by Dustin's baggy clothes, then turned and pretended to busy himself putting things away.

"Hey…"

"Hey."

"Cody I …"

"You need to take them with food…" he blurted out, pushing the tray across the counter, biting his lip and stepping back quickly.

Randy looked surprised, "Uh, th…"

"Do you take milk?" Cody poured him a mug of coffee and hurried to the fridge, "Should I know that already?"

"Uh…"

"Well, here, just in case, have as much as you need."

"Okay th…"

"So the clothes fit?"

Randy looked down at himself, "Uh, yeah…"

"Good, that's good, 'cos I didn't think anything of mine would, you know?"

"Cody…"

"Well, nothing I've got here anyway, maybe some of the stuff I've got for school…"

"Cody!"

"But that's all at home…" he continued to bustle about doing nothing in particular, nervous energy practically bouncing off the walls,

"Cody…" he reached out and grabbed his wrists, "Cody stop!"

"I… I uh…"

"Look at me," Randy said softly,

Cody's eyes briefly flickered up from the floor, biting his lip as they met Randy's hesitantly for a second, settling finally on their hands, fingers millimetres away from entwining, itching to do so, "Thankyou."

Cody looked up at him, wondering why he suddenly felt as though his stomach was folding itself inside out when their eyes met,

"Eat." he ordered, breaking away and pouring himself a coffee, "Then I'll drive you home."

"Actually, I was wondering… I mean, there's something…" Randy trailed off, taking a large swig from the mug he cradled in both hands before running his palms over his shorn head, wincing in pain at the movement.

He was clearly torn about whatever it was he wanted to say, and Cody wondered briefly what it was before Randy flinched again and he quickly went and got the painkillers from his room.

Pushing them across the counter top and refilling his mug, he watched as Randy cracked a couple from the silver foil into his palm, "Are you okay?"

It was Randy's turn to falter at the question, not going unnoticed by Cody, "Randy?" he prompted gently,

"Yeah, well, you know… but I'll live," he responded a little too brightly for Cody's liking, unable to hide the frown that followed as the sight of the blood washing down the drain flashed through his mind.

Cody watched him carefully, "Look, Dustin told me everything… just in case… you know? He uh, he suspected…"

"Yeah um," Randy cut him off quickly, "That reminds me, I was going to ask… did he uh, did he happen to know what happened to my wallet? And uh, and my keys?"

Randy interrupted a little too hastily, neatly changing the subject, a fact that only served to confirm Cody's suspicions, but it was something that Dustin had in fact mentioned to him,

"Look, don't panic okay…" Just those words alone made Randy's eyes widen in concern, "I guess someone found your jacket, Dustin rang and asked at the club, he knows the guys that run the place, we can pick them up when I drop you off."

"Okay," Randy nodded, breathing a visible sigh of relief, "Okay, thanks." he shoved the first of his untouched sandwiches in his mouth, suddenly finding his appetite had returned, "I'll er, I'll just…"

"Yeah, you finish that, there's plenty more, help yourself," he indicated the fridge with a nod and refilled his mug again, loitering hesitantly by the door for a few minutes, "I guess I'll leave you to it…"

He turned before he had the chance to change his mind, missing Randy's face fall as he struggled to swallow down the huge mouthful in order to protest before he left the room, and Cody's heart sank at the thought that he hadn't tried to stop him. _'It's for the best… it's for the best…'_

It was an hour or so later when Cody ventured to find Randy in his room. He'd showered and dressed slowly, lingered as much as he could in order to prolongue the inevitable.

Little did he know, Randy had waited in the kitchen for him the entire time in the hope he'd rejoin him, even brewing another pot of coffee thinking the aroma might tempt him out from wherever he was hiding. He mentally cursed himself for acting so desperate as he stood at the sink, slowly washing the dishes, before deciding he'd procrastinated long enough.

It was then that Cody had reluctantly come to find him in his room, and they'd stared at each other nervously when they thought the other wasn't looking, both avoiding meeting each others eye.

"You uh, you ready?"

'_No…'_ Randy thought, but nodded anyway, "Yeah, sure…" he bent to gather his bandages from where he'd left them on the bed,

"What's that?"

"What?"

"Are they from your ribs?"

Randy looked to where Cody was pointing at his hand, "Um… yes?"

"Randy!"

"What?"

"You're not supposed to take them off!" Cody gently chided him,

"I didn't think I should get them wet…"

"Yeah, but you're supposed to put them back on,"

"I know… I tried…"

Cody regarded him sternly for a moment, his face softening as Randy nervously shifted from foot to foot, "Hurts too much?"

Randy nodded, "Well, yeah, but it doesn't matter, I'll figure it out when I get home."

Cody came over and took them from his hand, "You could've asked me for help you know."

He unravelled it somewhat and looked up, finding Randy watching him, a somewhat reluctant expression on his face. Their eyes met, their chests mere inches apart, Cody noticed he seemed to be holding his breath as he carefully lifted both Randy's arms by the elbow, stopping when they reached shoulder height,

"I… uh, I wasn't sure it'd be… you know… appropriate…" His voice seemed to have got lost somewhere on the way out.

Cody reached for the hem of Randy's tee shirt and slowly raised it, inch by inch revealing his battered torso. "Yeah… probably not."

Their eyes remained locked as he gathered the material in his hands, fingers brushing lightly over Randy's as he transferred it to him to hold. He finally lowered his gaze, unable to stop the sharp intake of breath as his eyes fell on the dark purple bruising already marring the usually flawless expanse of skin.

'_Shit…' _His fingers had trailed across the damaged flesh before he'd even realised what he was doing, and he carefully started to wrap him back up in the pristine white bandages.

His heart clenched for the man standing silently in front of him, watching the way a trail of goosebumps followed his touch, the way he tensed and held his breath as his hand skimmed over the sensitive skin of his nipples, the nubs hardening beneath his fingertips… He stared in fascination at the reaction, unable to tear his eyes away… He didn't mean to take so long, he kept telling himself it was because he didn't want to hurt him… well, that was definitely a part of it…

Cody tore his eyes away from his handiwork, his stomach turning in on itself as he watched Randy intently, his eyes closed, face turned slightly upwards, the expressions playing across his features, calm and serene, his breathing deep, somewhat laboured…

"Randy…" he was hesitant, reluctant to break the spell,

"Hm?"

"How old are you?"

He watched him open his eyes, clear, blue, almost translucent, he decided he could stare into them forever as they locked solemnly on his own. "Twenty two."

"Twenty two?" he sighed, "And I'm almost nineteen." He refused to let himself get his hopes up at how small the age gap really was…

Sighing again, forlornly, he resigned himself to the fact that it didn't matter, there was no way anything could change.

"It's nothing. Nothing! It fucking sux."

"Yeah."

He didn't expect Randy to agree with him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." This time they sighed in unison, Cody's hands resuming their task that he'd momentarily forgotten about.

"If it were any other circumstances…"

"I know…"

"I mean, no one would bat an eyelid! Any other circumstances Randy and it wouldn't even be an issue…"

"I know. But it's not. And it is."

"Or would be…"

"If anyone knew…"

"Yeah."

They both sighed again and lapsed into silence as they lamented what could've been, Cody's hands continuing to hypnotically work their way through the roll of bandage. He was so immersed in getting it just right, tight enough to do the job but not so much that it hurt him, that he almost missed Randy's next words, barely reaching the air,

"I missed you…"

He paused, wondering if he heard right, before slowly letting out the breath he wasn't even aware he'd been holding as he whispered, "Do you mean that?" He bit his lip, holding his breath again without even realising, hands poised mid wrap as he waited for a response,

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't…"

"I missed you too…"

Randy had to remind himself to breathe again, just hearing Cody say that was confirmation enough for him, an admission that he had actually meant something to him, something he suddenly realised he really needed to hear.

"It's so unfair Cody…"

"It is, it really is so fucking unfair! Randy, if you were anything else… I mean seriously, if you were a doctor, a fucking coffee barista, I dunno man, anything, it wouldn't matter! And even if we met exactly the same way… it'd be fine!"

"I know…"

"If I was just one fucking year older! And not in school!"

"I know."

"Or if you taught at a different school…"

"Yeah…"

"Then it wouldn't matter! It's just the timing…" He frowned at the sheer audacity of it all.

"I know." Randy sighed.

"It fucking sux Randy!"

"It does, it really does."

"We didn't do anything wrong you know!"

"No one else would see it that way…"

"You'd be lynched…"

"Yeah…" Randy nodded, resigned to the fact, their eyes meeting again, and they stared at each other for a long time,

"We didn't know…"

"I know…"

"But we know now…"

"Yeah… we know now."

"I'm so sorry…"

Cody sounded so forlorn it almost broke Randy's heart, he shook his head, "Don't, just… don't." He placed a finger gently under Cody's chin, forcing him to look at him again as he refused to meet his eye, "Cody, you have nothing to apologise for, it wasn't your fault… it wasn't anyone's fault! We didn't know…"

Cody just nodded sadly, staring into his eyes longer than he knew was good for him, finally closing his own as he felt his resolve weakening to a point he knew there'd be no return from. Resting their foreheads together, he dared to whisper the words he never expected to be saying out loud,

"I wish we still didn't know…"

"Me too," Randy whispered, "Me too."


	5. Chapter 5

…

Pt4

...

They stood there for the longest time, deep in quiet contemplation, Cody's hands resting lightly on Randy's chest where he had moments ago secured the bandage,

"You're trembling…"

"I'm okay…"

Their faces were barely a breath apart as they took comfort in each other's presence, both safe in the knowledge that although they knew nothing more would ever come of it, they still had their shared memories of what had been, and dreams of what never will.

"Randy, are you sure? You're…"

"I uh, I might just sit down for a minute… before we go…"

And once they'd reached that conclusion, once they'd reached the point of mutual understanding, it only seemed natural that they take the next logical step,

"Randy…"

"I'm okay…"

"You're not! You're totally not going anywhere,"

"I'm fine, honest. Just a little light headed, standing up too long maybe…"

It felt so right, to resume where they'd left off, but they didn't, they wouldn't, they knew they couldn't.

"Lie down, rest. Doctors orders… besides, you look like shit."

"Gee thanks."

Cody couldn't hold back the smirk, "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah…"

"What?"

"You."

It was largely unavoidable really, to a certain extent it could be said it was beyond their control. Is it possible to control, what's written in the stars?

Cody actually gulped, "Randy… I, you know I want to…"

"I don't mean that," Randy laughed, "You insatiable fuck,"

It seemed impossible to change… to even try. But _was_ it impossible or did they just _want_ it to be?

"Sorry…" he sank down next to him on the bed, shoulders slumped,

After coming so far, who were they to just go ahead making such frivolous decisions? Risking everything when it could ruin both their lives? Were they already beyond saving?

Randy took his hand, he didn't move.

"Just stay with me? Please?"

"I better not…"

But which path would do the most damage in the long run? Being together? Or being apart?

"I promise I won't do anything, just talk to me…"

"I really don't think it's a very good idea…"

"Why not?"

There was more than one way of breaking a heart, of causing irreparable damage to a soul... Is it even possible to change fate? It was certainly possible to tempt it.

"Randy… I don't trust myself with you…"

Sometimes they say, resistance is futile…

Their eyes met as he turned towards him, instantly the pull between them so strong that they were powerless to resist as their locked gaze lingered, reluctantly at first then far longer than either intended, not even realising the extent to which they succumbed, staring, lost.

It was like they were drawn together in a way that was more than a mere conscious decision, and despite wrestling with each respective conscience, their lips finally met, brief, hesitant, tender.

Time stood still. Nothing else mattered. The gentle insistence of soft lips, satisfied sighs exchanged as warm breath caressed hesitant tongues, wholly innocent, yet nothing chaste about the desire bubbling just under the surface.

Reluctantly they pulled away, Cody instantly lowering his gaze. He stared at Randy's fingers as they tentatively reached for his own, gently tugging him down until they were lying face to face, biting his lip so hard in a colossal effort not to look at him, knowing it'd break every ounce of his resolve.

"I won't always be in school…" he whispered, desperate, longingly,

"Cody…" Randy sighed, placing a final touch of lips to his forehead, "Don't do this…" But he couldn't stop thoughts collecting in his own mind, already looking to the future, formulating a plan for the long run… but he didn't dare put it into words, not wanting to get his hopes up, to risk jinxing it before it had even begun.

"And you won't always be my teacher…"

"But I am right now."

"Doesn't that just sound so fucked up?"

"It does, it really fucking does."

"But it doesn't _feel_ like that…"

"What? Doesn't feel fucked up? No."

"Yeah, I mean, not right here right now. This…" he gestured between themselves, "This is just some dude I picked up in a bar that…"

"Gee thanks,"

"…that lasted longer than one night, because I got to know him and I really like him…" he finally met Randy's eye as he lay alongside him, "Do you get what I'm saying? Like, I don't feel like that's the same guy I answer to at role call, I don't even _know_ that guy you are at school, I only know _you_, _this_ Randy, the one right here right now. Fuck, I'm not even making sense!"

"No, you are, I know exactly what you mean, it's like we both have these two different lives, and we just slip between them, completely separate from each other, one we inhabit because we _have_ to, and the other because it's where we belong, where we _want_ to be."

"Yeah," Cody's eyes were bright with hope as Randy talked, relieved that he understood, that he felt the same way,

"And even though I only just found this side of me, this is where I met you, we met in _this_ life, we don't even know each other there! _This_ Cody that I _do_ know, that's not the dude that sits down the back of that class… I don't even know him! I've never even spoken to him!"

Cody laughed, "Exactly! So at school it won't be too hard for us to act like we've never met in our life before, 'cos technically we haven't!"

"Well, technically we _have_…"

"Only in one of our lives…" Cody sighed, "I know I know, we can justify it all we like in this messed up version in our heads, but it'd never stand up in a court of law."

"A court of law, fuck, don't even joke about that!"

He laughed at the look on Randy's face, "Okay, I won't go there, can you imagine it though, "_I swear your honour, I met Mr Orton in my other life!" 'Mr Runnels, just because he didn't recognise you without your clothes on when you were down on your knees doesn't mean he wasn't still your teacher!' _"

Randy groaned, flushing instantly at the analogy, "Don't, just don't!"

"Sorry, hehheh,"

"No you're not,"

"Not for what we did, no… I'm not."

"Me neither."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sighing wistfully, Cody smiled, and they lapsed into a long, comfortable silence, staring into each others eyes, interspersed with slow, lingering kisses.

Cody looked thoughtful, unable to stop daydreaming potential scenarios where they could be together.

"You know…" he ventured, really just thinking out loud, "No one at school knows me, not really, not the real me…"

"I'd keep it that way if I were you…"

"Fuck yes. You think I don't know that? Why do you think I come up here every weekend?"

"I don't blame you."

Looking into the deep grey eyes that were watching him as he talked, Cody bit his lip, deep in thought, an idea forming… "You know… no one from school ever comes up here, it's too far away…"

"Well, it is a different city…"

"Exactly! And… well, even if they did, they'd never go anywhere near the kinda places we go…"

"Cody…" Randy said warningly,

"Even if they did, no one from school would recognise me, _you_ didn't even recognise me!"

"What exactly are you getting at?"

"Well, I just thought, you know…"

"What?"

"What harm would it do if we sometimes kinda accidentally bumped into each other in places like, say… oh I dunno, the bathroom at Tiger, Dustin's spare room…"

"It'd do all the harm in the world Cody, if anyone ever actually _did_ see us… and recognised you…"

"Yeah…"

"Hey," he took Cody's crestfallen face between his palms, forcing him to look into his eyes and surprising them both by capturing his lips in a heated kiss, "That doesn't mean I wouldn't _like_ to accidentally bump into you though…"

"Don't tempt me…"

"Maybe after graduation…"

"Maybe…"

"But not til then…"

"No…"

"Definitely not til then…"

"Definitely not…"

"Okay."

"That's a really long time…"

"Yeah… I know."

"Sux."

"Yep."

…

Before either of them knew it the weekend had gone, and Randy had somehow ended up staying the whole time. Minutes merged into days without them even realising, forged by hours of conversation and endless discussion about everything and nothing in particular.

But true to their word, they kept their hands to themselves, for the most part, and next thing they knew they were back to normal, avoiding each other like the plague at school on Monday morning.

They fell easily into the old routine, pretending the other didn't exist, but it was like some invisible barrier had been broken and the awkward lump had disappeared from the back of their throats every time they accidentally walked pest each other in the corridor. The uneasy tension had dissipated to the point where they could go about their respective business without the feeling of dread hanging over them that everybody knew, worrying about every little thing, feeling the need to constantly flee. Issues had been resolved, they both felt free. Closure, it did wonderful things for a person's state of mind.

But as Friday drew to a close, Cody began to wonder at the incessant pestering of his weekend friends. All week they'd been badgering him with texts and voicemails, but seeing as he'd accidentally left his phone at Dustin's he received them all in one gigantic batch when he arrived on Friday night. He was confused at the rambling waffle about 'sorting him out' and 'teaching him a lesson'… what the fuck were they talking about? And who? Something didn't sit right with him about the whole thing and he had a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. There was only one way to find out he figured, throwing on his jacket as he headed for the door.

Dustin watched the whole scene with increasing trepidation, unsure of how much to reveal about what he suspected. He was pretty certain it was Cody's own friends who were responsible for the state of Randy last week, the initial drugging at the very least, but he didn't want to cause any unnecessary rifts and go around starting trouble until he was sure. But he couldn't stop himself from calling out before Cody disappeared.

"Dude, wait a sec,"

He quickly explained what he feared to his incredulous brother, whose eyes widened in horror at the thought that he was entirely responsible for what happened without even having a clue. He'd ignored his phone the whole weekend, too busy being entranced by Randy to even notice his battery had died, then forgetting it altogether. So to suddenly hear that it could in fact have been some kind of defending of his honour, out of some misguided sense of loyalty, he just couldn't believe it! They were a tight knit group who looked out for each other, and sure, there'd been a few fists thrown in anger and self defence, but he certainly hadn't expected that!

He was completely blaming himself regardless now anyway, no matter what Dustin said to try and reassure him, as if the possibility that it was someone else entirely who finished him off when he was too fucked to do anything about it was reassuring in any way whatsoever.

"I'm going down there!"

"Cody wait!"

"No! I have to know!"

Dustin's heart went out to him at the utterly distraught look on his face, he nodded, "I'll drive."

…

- _"But why? Why would you do something like that?"_

Dustin watched Cody listening to whatever was being said on the other end of the phone,

_- "Teaching him a lesson? What the fuck? What for?"_

So he was right…

- _"No he didn't! Who told you that shit? What the fuck are you talking about?"_

It wasn't really eavesdropping when they're shouting like that and you're right there…

- _"And you believed it? Without even talking to me first? Checking you had it right? Fuck! What were you thinking?"_

His face was puce, incandescent with rage.

- _"Yeah you got it fucking wrong! Dustin found him dumped at a fucking bus shelter! Because of you! He had to take him to hospital!"_

Stepping on the gas, Dustin looked sideways at Cody as he exploded,

_- "A bit of fun? Fun? Which one of you was it?" _

His voice was barely a whisper, and Dustin watched as his face literally drained of all colour…

_- "What do you mean why? 'Cos I'm gonna fucking kill you, you raping sonofabitch."_

Uh oh…

- _"Not what you intended? Oh yeah? What exactly did you intend then? Huh?"_

Shit…

_- "What part of no don't you understand? I don't care what you thought! You thought fucking wrong! You should've asked me first!"_

Screeching to a standstill Cody all but leapt from the car, leaving the door swinging open as he flew into the bar. Dustin saw him swing a punch through the window, running literally into a circle of guys and taking specific aim, landing a clean direct hit before turning around and calmly walking straight back out as the fallout erupted behind him.

Dustin didn't even attempt to go after him, he knew there was no point. He knew where he was going, and he wasn't about to try and stop him. He figured he needed to do this, to explain, seek redemption of sorts. He felt bad enough himself for not stepping in when he'd had the chance, so he could only imagine how Cody must be feeling.

…

"Cody! What the fuck… you can't be here!" Randy was looking around wildly as if he expected sirens and police cars to appear at any second,

"I need to tell you something, to explain…"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know what happened, it's all my fault."

It was only as he spoke that Randy caught the haunted look on his face, the turmoil in his voice ripping out his heart and his gut twisting in sudden fear.

He stared at him in shock, wordlessly letting him in.

…

Cody had practically run through the streets, only slowing when he finally approached Randy's house, getting slower and slower as he began to feel sick to his stomach at the thought that he was responsible.

'_Please be home please be home… I need to explain…'_

He stood outside the door getting his breath back, staring at it for ages before he found the courage to finally knock.

But it wasn't until he saw the look on Randy's face after he had told him everything that he began to wonder if it was really such a good idea, why was he really telling him? Was it just for his own peace of mind? Did he really want him to know or did he just want to see him? To be with him? You can't comfort someone who doesn't know they're in need of it… but with hindsight he now began to think maybe _he_ was the one in need of comfort, and the way Randy was looking at him, a mixture of horror and disbelief, he certainly wasn't going to be getting it from him.

He sat on the couch wringing his hands together nervously, not knowing how to break the deafening silence. Eyes downcast, fixed pointedly at the floor, blaming himself, hating himself, he struggled to find words, a constant repetition of sorry not making him feel any better, the whispered plea desperate, forlorn.

Randy didn't know what to think, where to begin, and he literally didn't know what to say, his head swimming with unanswered questions that he couldn't put into words.

"I should go…"

Cody stood up, and it took a moment for Randy to register, so lost was he in his train of thought.

He nodded, unthinking, not noticing the heartbroken look cross Cody's face before he quickly pulled himself together, mask falling into place.

At Randy's lack of response Cody continued, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, "Well… uh, seeya…"

He'd got all the way to the door before Randy jumped up, as though awakened suddenly from his reverie, "Cody…"

Cody stopped, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around. It wasn't until he felt Randy's presence behind him, hovering, uncertain, that he looked up, "Sorry,"

"Wait…" the hand on his arm was there for less than a second but that was all it took, he spun around and hope flashed through his eyes before he could stop it,

"Cody look," Randy didn't even know what he was going to say, "I er… I was just about to eat… I've got way too much… if you want…" he let his hand drop, stepping back, leaving the ball in Cody's court.

Cody didn't leave until Monday morning…


	6. Chapter 6

**Pt 5**

The year passed quickly, the mundane continuity of school dragging from one week to the next, the constant effort to stay apart getting easier with each passing day. The initial awkward tension wore off until it finally got to the point where they really didn't even notice each other at school anymore, the daily morning ritual of "Runnels?" and "Here." the only interaction they had. It continued on in much the same vein for almost an entire year.

Before they even had time to think too much about it, the end of the academic calendar drew near, and suddenly, the prom was upon them. The biggest night of their life so far in most people's eyes, and one Cody had little to no interest in whatsoever. He knew he'd look good in a tux, it wasn't that, in fact he kinda fancied dressing up, but he knew the music would be shit, the fake bullshit that went along with the whole thing would drive him insane, and worse than that, he knew everyone was expecting him to turn up with a girl. And that meant he had to ask one.

His mother was already dropping hints left right and centre and had not-so-subtly cleared a space amongst the framed family photos along with those of his brother and sisters before him. He really didn't know what he was going to do. He considered not going at all, feigning illness, breaking a leg, that should do it, but he knew he wouldn't get away with it, unless he was literally dead. And his mom would actually kill him if he didn't go. With a girl. She wanted that photo. She already had a frame.

It was fast approaching, and he'd done nothing at all that could be considered in any way constructive towards procuring a date.

But much to his surprise, and eventual amusement, an opportunity presented itself that he hadn't quite been expecting.

For reasons that were too bizarre to even go into, he ended up sitting in the back of a limo with Andrew and his hot older sister, having just posed for a ridiculous amount of photos in his living room to placate his over enthusiastic mother. Her exuberance had required copious amounts of patience and it was with relief that they'd finally escaped.

Now, sipping lemonade from champagne flutes, laced with Andrew's secret stash of Jim Beam, he was debating whether or not to just slip away into the night when the car eventually pulled up to the school. No one would notice, he mused, wondering if he'd get away with it, a night of dancing at Tiger instead sounding more than tempting… especially while he looked _this_ good. He knew the real reason he didn't want to go though, and the more he thought about it the more determined he became, or, more to the point, the more his bravery dwindled, he didn't know if he could cope seeing Randy dressed up and with a possible date on his arm.

His own 'date', merely for the benefit of his mother of course, was Andrew's sister Emily, and it could be considered a win/win situation all round. She was one year older, hot as hell, and was only doing this to get back at her ex-boyfriend Trevor, who was taking someone else and Emily was unamused to say the least.

Cody had stepped in, ever the gallant gent, as a favour to Andrew and was practically a hero in everyone's eyes without even having to explain a thing. He already got on extremely well with Andrew's whole family anyway, having known him practically forever, so he didn't really see it as much of a big deal.

But now he found himself shaken from his reverie as Emily wondered out loud why Cody, good looking guy like him, hadn't been snapped up months before by some other eligible bachelorette to do the honours of escorting her to the prom.

Cody, awkward as fuck all of a sudden, managed a shrug and knew he was blushing profusely into the dark, managing to stammer something sarcastically along the lines of none of them being quite eligible enough.

Andrew chose that moment to fix him with an inquisitive stare as if wondering the answer to the same question himself, yet merely chimed in with something about how _oh yeah, of course, he'd had to fend them off with a big stick there was just so many throwing themselves at him._ Sarcastic bastard.

"Crucifix more like!" Cody had added, to guffaws all round, until Emily flippantly quipped that she'd been beginning to think she was merely a perfect cover to keep their loving gay relationship a big secret.

The term mortified didn't even begin to cover the look on Andrew's face, and Cody wasn't faring much better, unsure whether to laugh or cry, and Emily's boisterous cackle at her own joke came to an abrupt halt when she realised she was the only one laughing…

"Oh my god! It's true!" she squealed excitedly, and the horror filled seconds seemed to stretch endlessly for a minute or two, until the silence was finally broken with a cacophony of resounding rebuttals, as he and Andrew practically fell over themselves with vehement rebuking and indignant denial.

"Ems, give me some credit, geez, I can do much better than Andrew for fucks sake! I do have some taste you know!"

"Oh yeah? C'mon then, spill, like who?"

Another shrug, "I dunno," he drawled laconically, "I'm quite partial to a bit of Brad Pitt."

They both turned and stared at him in shock to see if he was joking, and he couldn't quite believe he was actually admitting it himself, trying to gauge their reactions to see if he needed to make that seem like a hilarious joke to wriggle his way out of it.

But Emily, seeming to sense his predicament, encouraged the whole thing,

"No you're not, he was so 2005, _and_ he's old enough to be your dad!"

"Okay, Christian Bale then."

"You only like him cos he's Batman!" Andrew declared as if it was some big surprise,

"Yeah, and? Oh and Jake Gyllenhaal."

"A gay cowboy? Really?"

"Yes. You look surprised."

"Yeah, at you being so stereotypical."

"You put me on the spot!"

Andrew scowled, "Jake Gyllenhaal? Really? Well, there's no accounting for taste. I'm much better looking than either of them anyway."

"Yes but you're not about to suck my cock any time soon so you don't count." He sniggered as Andrew's aghast expression turned to one of disgust,

"No, I'm not. Ew. But hey, neither are they!"

"Excuse me but I think you'll find they do! On a regular basis, every night in fact, in my dreams…hehehe,"

"Oh my god they'll be doing it in mine too from now on!" Emily had been staring the whole time he'd been talking, almost as though she had a new found respect for him all of a sudden,

"What, suck your cock?"

"No, suck yours! That's the hottest thing ever…"

"No it's not Emily, ew! Gross gross gross!"

"Hey, don't knock it til you've tried it!"

"I am _NOT_ sucking your cock!"

"Good! You weren't invited anyway!"

"Good!"

Andrew crossed his arms across his chest in a huff with a face that looked as though Cody suggested he eat dog poo like he had that one time when they were four. "Hey! Hang on, why not? What's wrong with me? I'm better looking than _all_ of them! I know I'm not Batman but I have some Spiderman boxers…"

"Yeah I bought them for you remember,"

"Ha! So you were trying to groom me all along!"

"Oh man," Cody rolled his eyes laughingly, winking at Emily who was smirking at him from across the car,

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much!" she piped up, "I'd love to have a gay brother, sure you don't even fancy it just a little bit Andy?"

"No! I don't! And even if I did, you're not watching. Cody! Look what you've started! Stop giving her ideas!"

"Me? It was you! And who said anything about watching? How much have you had to drink anyway? Give me that bottle…"

The easy banter continued as they pulled up in style, Cody feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders as Emily took his hand giggling and Andrew extended his arms announcing his arrival to the waiting throng gathering outside the school gates.

He hardly batted an eyelid and managed to keep his tongue from hitting the floor, somehow not even missing a step as he glanced inside and immediately laid eyes on Randy. It was all he could do not to stare like a love sick school girl.

"See something you like?" Emily whispered at him, dragging him over to the food table where Andrew was busy topping up their drinks,

"Maybe."

And from then on she seemed to forget all about Trevor and her elaborate scheme to make him jealous, instead concentrating souly on procuring as much info from Cody as she possibly could for the entire rest of the night.

…

Randy surveyed the room with a perturbed scowl, heading straight for the long tables packed with food to join all the other losers there without a date. Moving to stand with the staff, he took in the stupid girly decorations, the cliquey groups bitching about each others outrageous clothes as usual, nothing much had changed since his day. His day? Who was he? His grandpa? His day was only four years ago, the loud pumping music was practically identical for fucks sake, or at least, equally as shit.

He was still reeling from the glimpse he caught of Cody arriving earlier, looking incredible, with a girl, and looking anywhere but at him. He hadn't been expecting that, and he certainly hadn't been expecting the way it made him feel. Even after all this time, after literally months apart, showing ultimate restraint to the point where it almost was as if they really didn't know each other at all, he wasn't even sure if Cody still felt the same about him, if he even felt anything at all, the wave of jealousy that washed over him was so intense that it unsettled him completely.

The night could not have gone any slower. It was all just a bit too much. He spent his whole life so far hating this sort of thing, and he wasn't about to stop now. Thank fuck for his friend Mr , tucked up neatly inside his desk in his classroom, just waiting for an opportune moment for reconciliation.

He mingled as required, the minimum amount he could get away with, making small talk and smiling until his face hurt with the effort. If he had to suffer even one more fucking question about whether or not he had a girlfriend waiting for him at home he was actually going to punch someone's lights out. Why did people wait all year to start giving a shit about his private life? He finally managed to escape, slipping out of the gymnasium unnoticed to find some peace and quiet, just a few minutes respite, away from the din.

He didn't notice the figure stopping instantly in the hall, the pair of big blue eyes widen hesitantly as they saw him on their way out of the bathroom, looking around quickly before following him in.

"Cody? What the fuck are you doing? Anyone could've seen you!"

"I just wanted to tell you…"

"What? Tell me what? Make it quick!"

"That you look really beautiful tonight Randy..."

Randy's next words died on his tongue. Cody had been moving closer as he spoke, his lips were so close, he could feel his hot breath against his skin, goosebumps following the path of his lips…

His breath caught in his throat, more than anything he wanted to tell Cody the same thing, it was true, he looked stunning, as if he'd ever look anything less. Not to Randy.

Slightly tipsy, mischief shone in Cody's eyes as he moved to stand even closer, his inhibitions fast depleting,

"Have you been drinking?"

"Maybe…" he moved closer, if that was even possible,

"Cody..." Randy pushed him away, just a little, forcing himself to say the next words, "You know the rules…"

"What are they gonna do? Expel me?" he leant in, lips brushing lightly across Randy's own before kissing him deeply.

Trying not to succumb, Randy pushed him away, harder this time, "No," he breathed heavily, panting, "They'll arrest _ME_, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Sorry…" biting his lip, Cody averted his eyes.

Peering up through his lashes, he looked so crestfallen that Randy had to physically stop himself from devouring him there and then.

"Don't…"

"I just couldn't stop, you look so..."

"We've come this far, don't fuck it up now…"

"I know, I just haven't seen you in so long... it's been months…"

"I know…"

"I've missed this… being so close to you…"

"Cody…" Randy tensed, trying with all his might to hold himself together, maybe half a bottle of bourbon really wasn't such a good idea after all… but he took another swig nevertheless. Sighing sadly, he finally admitted, "You know the feeling's mutual right? You've always known what you do to me…"

Cody reached forward, cupping Randy's groin as the bigger man groaned into the side of his neck, "I had a sneaking suspicion, kinda hard not to…" he smirked as he squeezed gently, feeling Randy's breathing deepen against his skin,

"I think you knew from the moment we met…"

"I think I knew before you did…" he trailed off, staring wistfully at the large desk they were leaning against, himself between Randy's legs and the older man perched on the edge, "I used to sit there daydreaming about bending you over that…"

"Me too… every single day..." Randy's eyes darted to the square of light illuminating the room through the glass in the door, it _was_ frosted glass… wasn't it?

Looking back to Cody's sad smirk, he smiled a similar one of his own, but Cody suddenly leapt forward, grinding their groins together hard and capturing his lips, demanding, begging for more, Randy knew he was being intentionally provocative, just to wear down his last little scrap of resistance as he leant his whole body into him against his desk, kissing him possessively,

"Cody…"

"What?"

He could hear the smirk in his voice, "You're so… _naughty_…"

"Sorry _sir_, am I in… _trouble_?"

The way he breathed the last word directly into Randy's ear sent an instant jolt of electricity direct to his groin, his cock throbbing into Cody's thigh,

"You will be…" he growled the words throatily, teeth scraping hard over Cody's pulse point as his head lolled back with an animalistic groan, "If you get caught…"

He leant back, looking deep into Randy's eyes, "Will I be _punished_?" he breathed, the words barely reaching the air before they both snapped. He literally had him flipped around and pressed over the desk in an instantaneous lust-fuelled reaction, no discussion required.

Randy didn't even attempt to stop him, fingers fumbling for his own belt as he felt Cody do the same behind him, all logic out the window, trapped as it were, by such powerful forces at work, tempting them, encouraging them, spurring them on. They knew they shouldn't but they couldn't stop, the very fact that it was fraught with the danger of getting caught the very thing that was driving them on, fingers working quickly, zippers barely open,

"_Oh my god…" _

"_Fuck…"_

It took all of two seconds to lose their resolve, all of three for the deed to be done.

Cody slumped against Randy's back, panting heavily, neither having felt this sated in months, silence deafening in the empty room.

"Wanna come over tonight?"

"Course I do…"

Cody's face lit up for a fraction of a second as he did up his pants, before his usual cheeky smirk faltered momentarily, "But you're not going to, right?"

"Right."

Nodding, Cody huffed dramatically, "I know I know. Guess I'll just have to stick to the memories huh?"

But as he turned to leave, Randy reached out, grabbing his wrist before he realised what he was doing,

"Cody…" he suddenly pressed his lips against his temple, breathing in his scent, his cologne, "You look beautiful tonight too…"

Cody closed his eyes, concentrating so hard on committing the moment to memory forever that he almost missed his next whispered admission, "You always do…"

Feeling like his heart was going to beat completely out of his chest through his ribcage, it swelled beyond capacity and he almost bit his lip in half in a monumental effort to control himself. Slowly taking his face between his hands, kissing his lips softly, he knew what he had to do. In that second he made up his mind. Fuck the scholarship, there was no way he was going away to college, not now, there was no way he could lose this, not after waiting so long. He was staying here.

But he said nothing, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips as he finally pulled back, breaking the kiss, resting their foreheads together as he stared into his eyes, before turning and leaving the room as quickly and silently as he came.

…

On her way into the bathroom, Emily didn't realise what she was seeing. She didn't think anything of Cody coming out of some random classroom, and judging by how happy he looked, assumed he was just topping up his drink in the same fashion Andrew had been doing all night. But five minutes later on her way back out, seeing some random and exquisitely beautiful guy come out of the same room, looking around shiftily as though he had something to hide, she couldn't quite hold in the tiny squeal of excitement that threatened to give away her presence.

She smiled to herself as she made her way back, pondering how neither her nor Andrew ever really knew Cody at all, despite knowing him almost his entire life. Nothing had changed of course, he was still the same goofy, adorable guy that she loved like a brother, but she wanted the dirt. Her earlier probing hadn't got very far,

"So have you got a boyfriend?"

"In this town? Are you crazy?"

And now she wondered with interest if that answer had changed…

Who was this mystery guy? Had he been seeing him all year? Or was it just a desperate 'we're never gonna see each other again' thing? She knew he'd never spill, so set about asking him a million questions as soon as she spotted him again inside, all of which he craftily avoided, answering vaguely and with little to no detail no matter how much alcohol she plied him with from her carefully secreted hipflask.

"Oh _come on_ man, you can do better than that! At least describe your dream guy for me, come on, who do you have the hots for?" Smiling ridiculously wide when he described the guy she saw, dreamy look on his face, she clapped her hands together happily, practically swooning at the thought.

"So when can we meet him?"

"Meet him? When pigs fly Em, when pigs fly."

"Oh come on…" she was about to say she'd seen them and that it didn't take a genius to figure out he'd just described a guy standing about ten feet away from them, but she held her tongue, not wanting to make him uneasy,

"Who? You said _dream_ guy! Fuck!"

She could tell he was panicking, but couldn't stop now she'd started, "Oh come on, we won't tell anyone, promise! Can I meet him… _now_?"

She bit her lip as Cody got up, knowing she was pressing her luck and hoping she hadn't just guaranteed that he wouldn't tell her anything ever again,

"Now it sounds like _you're_ the one who's dreaming!" Casting a glance back at her, he held out his hand for her glass, "But I promise that as soon as the fairy godmother waves her magic wand and makes all my dreams come true, you'll be the first to know."

He smirked at her as he turned, and she didn't miss the other pair of eyes that followed him the entire way to the bar, swooning inwardly at her secret.

…


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: this isn't a new chapter, the end is still the end, I just had to add the original one shot that this sequel stemmed from in here at the beginning, because I had so many comments from people starting with the sequel and wondering where the first part was, not realising it's right there on my list above this one... but anyway, I thought it'd help if I put it all together...

…

**Pt6 **

Cody was squirming in his seat, watching as every member of his year took to the stage, receiving their certificates one by one up at the podium from their home room teacher. _From their fucking home room teacher! _Fuck. FUCK.

_FUCK_.

How was he going to face Randy up there? He didn't think he could do it. They were slowly making it through each class, and his was next. He felt sick. His hands were actually trembling and his stomach did a flip as he watched Randy walk up the steps to take his place. He could tell he was shitting bricks too, he could see it on his face. How was he ever going to make it through, having to look into his eyes?

He knew this was how it was going to happen but it didn't stop him being any less freaked out by the whole ordeal. He'd been successfully keeping it somewhere in the back of his mind where he didn't have to think about it, acknowledge it, face up to it… but it was finally here, the moment of truth, in more ways than one.

It was all over. This was it. The end. Goodbye.

Goodbye to school at least… what would happen now? He didn't dare to get his hopes up, about anything, he was trying not to think about it even though it was the one thing his mind was constantly wandering to, conjuring up scenarios that it shouldn't be… but right now, he had more pressing things to worry about…

"Cody Runnels!"

…

Eyes locking for the briefest of seconds, stormy grey penetrating hesitant blue… there was a flicker of something unrecognisable… a pulsating shock of electricity ran through them as their fingers brushed together, mirroring eyebrows raised in surprise. The flash of the camera, a platonic handshake, the symbolic passing of the baton, and it was over, it was done, both barely registering anything as their fingertips continued to tingle…

…

A silent gasp of realisation from the crowd, the promise of a secret to be taken to the grave…

…

The mortar boards were raining down in a flurry and Randy could hear the cheering and applause, resounding around the inside of his head, drowning out all other, wildly inappropriate, thoughts… _fuck, his parents are out there somewhere…_

His eyes began to dart wildly around in terror as the thought struck him, petrified of the wrath of the Runnels Sr and searching for any signs that they _knew_… but why would they know? How would they know? And just as he took a deep breath to calm himself down, realising how incredibly stupid and paranoid he was being, a large warm palm clamped down on his shoulder.

"You better take care of him otherwise you're a dead man, but you already knew that, right?"

"Dustin… I…"

"I know you'd never intentionally do anything to hurt him Randy, which is why I'm extending you the courtesy of this friendly warning and not just knocking your block off now. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now that's out the way, how you doing man? You weren't in too good shape last time I saw you…"

As he made small talk with Dustin for a couple of minutes, he could feel a certain blue pair of eyes staring intently at his back. He wondered what on earth that conversation was all about, did Dustin know something he didn't know? Because that was just weird. Did Cody have something he needed to tell him? His stomach twisted in a knot at the thought. Was he going away for college?

He sighed, resigned to the fact. But regardless of that, he sure as hell had something to say to Cody, something he'd been working hard towards all year, something that could make all the difference to their lives, but he just didn't know how to go about it. He didn't even know where to begin.

…

Sitting tensely in the bar across the road, pushing away his empty plate and knocking back his double JD, Randy had an uncanny feeling of being here before. He smiled ruefully to himself, throwing down a couple of bills as he stood, mustering all the courage he possibly could as he headed for the back of the rapidly forming queue, a sheen of sweat lightly covering his face as he was illuminated under the giant flaming torches.

He hoped he hadn't got it wrong, what he'd overheard, the snippet of conversation between Cody and Andrew after the graduation… he was sure Cody had meant for him to hear…

"…_I got a job for the summer, working the bar… just some place in the city, you wouldn't know it… money for college, you know how it is…"_

He'd lingered a while longer, debating what to do, but Cody had given him a meaningful look, meaning what exactly, he wasn't quite sure, but he made up his mind. As he turned to leave, a whiff of Chanel number 5 reached his nostrils and a voice whispered in his ear, before re-joining her brother and his best friend by the buffet, an instant jolt of recognition running through Randy as he froze,

"_I wish the teachers looked like you when I went to school here…"_

He almost laughed now, at how jealous he'd been, almost, but not quite, and he made his way inside, taking his customary place at the buffet.

…

Cody almost passed out when he saw Randy appear at the bar, he'd been watching the door of the club all night, desperate for him to come, but now that he had he didn't know what to do, what to say. They'd come so far, he could almost taste the freedom, but he was still filled with dread that something would fuck it up, that it was too soon, too fresh, too raw. _Too real_.

Because that's what it really was, now it was here, what he'd been wanting for months, dreaming about for months, when it all boiled down to it, he was too scared to do anything about it. There was still the possibility that something could go wrong…

"Hey,"

"Hey,"

They talked briefly between customers, Randy having to turn a blind eye to the fact that Cody was proving to be a hit with the clientele, a fact Cody barely even seemed to notice. Randy wasn't doing too badly either, in the getting hit on stakes, but they only had eyes for each other.

"What are you doing next year?"

The room was hot, loud, pulsing, sweat poured from Randy as he fiddled with the rim of his glass, ripping his coaster into a million tiny bits, watching Cody serve a guy down the other end of the bar, laughing, smiling, it never quite reaching his eyes…

"I got a scholarship…"

"That's awesome, well done…"

"Thanks…"

_I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it, he's running away…_

"Cody I…"

"_Fuck_… hang on a sec…"

Randy watched as he darted away again, sighing forlornly into his drink as he swirled the ice around the bottom, before draining it in one… _running away from me._

"Randy…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm moving away…"

Cody bit his lip, trying to gauge Randy's reaction, the look on his crestfallen face breaking his heart as he nodded, offering hearty congratulations,

"Yeah, I thought as much… figured you would…"

"It's not what you think…"

"What do I think?"

"I dunno…"

What he really wanted to say was that he was staying right here, that he'd received his acceptance letter in the post for the option he'd intended on taking all along… but he hadn't, so he couldn't, not yet… because he just didn't know, there was still a chance that he hadn't got in… so he didn't say a word, letting the uncomfortable silence hang in the air as he was called down the other end of the bar again.

"So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Next year…"

"Oh you know, same old same old… teaching, ha!"

Randy didn't say a word either. He didn't say a thing about how he'd been working his butt off all year, throwing himself into his studies after everything that went down, topping up his degree, applying for the job at St Luke's… it looked like a nice school, pretty exclusive, more money, just round the corner from Dustin's place it was too… he didn't tell him that he got the letter this morning… didn't tell him that he got the job…

It was a new start, just what he needed really, a change is as good as a holiday right?

It was all over but it still didn't feel safe and they both knew it. Not that had ever stopped them before.

Randy downed the rest of his drink, "What time do you finish?"

…

He stared at the seemingly endless traffic stretching ahead of him, he was on his way home at the end of the week, staring out the window as he waited for the lights to change, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he hummed listlessly along to the radio. He wasn't really listening to it, just in a hurry to get home and shower, change before work tonight. He was driving back to Dustin's after college, big pile of books on the seat next to him, he did get in to the first option after all.

The heat of the summer was beginning to dwindle, the academic year well underway. The first few weeks had passed uneventfully and Cody thought back to this time the year before. He'd turned eighteen and hit the clubs, forging out a niche for himself in his new incarnation, he had just met Randy, had an amazing time, gone back to school and got the shock of his life…

A lot had happened since then, and he wondered what was on the cards for him next.

Just as that thought manifested itself in coherent form, he looked out the window, almost swallowing his tongue in shock, gulping frantically, his whole body tingling. A bevy of car horns honked impatiently behind him as he stared, the lights now green, the lone figure looking up at the commotion.

He was bending to put his briefcase in his car, and glancing up over the roof, their eyes met. It was almost as if there's was the pull of the ocean, it was just a fraction of a second yet it was enough to entice both of them to do anything just to feel it again. Cody saw Randy staring at him, eyes wide in shock, he still would have thought he'd gone away to school… and it took everything in his power not to do a U-turn in the middle of the street…

It was only as he drove away, fighting every fibre of his being that wanted to drive straight to Randy's, that he realised where the older man actually _was_. Was he teaching at St Luke's? If only he'd got a job there in the first place then everything would've been fine from the start… _fuck my life…_

…

It was all he could think about as he sat toying with his food, unable to do much more than stare at it, wondering whether that feeling in his stomach was it eating itself from the inside out. He was oblivious to Dustin watching him wryly over the top of his paper, wondering what the fuck was wrong with him this time.

And now as he stood under the hot spray, the shower turned up as high as it could go in an attempt to, to what? To wash away this feeling, all these feelings? He didn't know. In fact, he really didn't think it was a very good idea afterall, the hot water that is, now that he actually _thought_ about it… because that was the problem, he hadn't been able to really cope with that,_ thinking_, in general, what with his brain having turned to a giddy pile of useless mush as soon as he saw Randy earlier on.

He was beginning to wonder if it was even real, did he dream the whole thing? He certainly didn't dream the way it was making him feel. He was sweating, even under the water, _especially_ under the water, and he hit the cold, feeling some bizarre need to punish himself further as the driving needles drilled into his skin. He really wasn't sure he was going to make it through the night the way he was feeling right now, what with work starting in less than an hour.

His head was spinning and his mouth was dry, he wanted to reach out and grab hold of the situation with both hands, get a hold of himself, feel normal again. Because he had just started to think he had come to terms with missing his chance with Randy, accepting that it was always going to be a case of monumental bad timing. Then he saw him again, for all of three seconds, and it was enough to send him spiralling back to square one, instantly messing up his head again. It had taken all his self control to drive himself home and not drive straight to Randy's house, to run straight into his arms and never let him go.

_Oh my god you're such a fucking girl…_ he was thoroughly disgusted with himself, why was he so hung up on this guy?

But it didn't stop him from continuing that train of thought, his memory awash with moments they'd shared. Moments that provided his mind with a barrage of imagery, imagery that chose that very moment to appear, in full technicolour, bombarding him with a slideshow of such vivid intensity…

He couldn't stop the groan, the vision of Randy writhing beneath him the last time they met, overcome with lust, it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. It was clouding his better judgement and he knew it, but he couldn't stop the awareness in his loins, and his hand slipped down, encouraging himself further as he sprang to life.

Panting into the tiled wall, his body trembled, biting down hard on his lip to stifle the strangled cry as he came hard, spurting into his hand, thick ribbons washing down the drain along with any shred of self decency he had left. At least that's how it felt. He had to get over it. He had to stop this. Stop scouring the bar every night, waiting for him, on the off chance, stop watching the door for him to come in. Stop wishing he'd come by…

_You've only got yourself to blame, you could've told him, why didn't you tell him? _

'_I didn't know yet, I wanted to be sure…'_

_And then you were sure and you still didn't…_

'_It was too soon, it was too soon, I didn't want to hurt him any more…' _

_Don't you think you've hurt him even more this way? What's he gonna say when he finds out? You've been here the whole damn time!_

Cody wondered who the fuck he was justifying himself to as he got in the car, banging his head against the steering wheel in frustration, driving past the school again, he didn't know why…

…

Looking up as he entered the room, the heat hit Randy instantly the moment he walked through the door, the instant tickle of the smoke machine in his nostrils, pungent stench of sweat, men and sex hanging in the air. He felt at ease, like he'd come home, a far cry from this time last year… it's where all his best memories began. He could feel all eyes upon him, the heavy thud of the bass running through his body as he made his way to the bar, only one pair of eyes that he was interested in tonight…

He's gone home?

Is he okay?

When did he leave?

What did he say?

He ran long fingers in frustration over the stubble of his freshly shaven scalp, concern written all over his face, evident in his features, brow furrowing further as he realised he may have missed his final chance. Something in his mind was telling him there was always tomorrow, and the next night, and the next, but he knew within himself he'd long have lost his nerve before he even got that far. No, he had to do it now. As he debated his next course of action, the decision was taken out of his hands, a large and familiar palm coming to rest on his shoulder once more.

"Randy, what the fuck am I gonna do with you two, huh? You're both driving me insane."

…

It was the longest four hours of Cody's life as he hovered behind the bar, making himself nervous as he glanced at the door every two seconds.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Um, nothing?"

"You're fucking wired. Get the fuck out of here until you calm down, you're freaking me out,"

"I'm not on drugs!"

"Cody, go home!"

He sat in the car for what felt like an eternity, trying to muster the courage to knock on the door. Randy's house was in darkness, but it was late… he might be asleep, but he might be out… which meant he could be home soon… right? He'll just wait here for a while…

Suddenly the thought struck him that if he _was_ out, and he _did_ come home soon, he might not be coming home _alone_, and he didn't know if he could handle that… and there was always the chance that he might not even live here anymore anyway…

Or he could be inside, and saw him pull up, and is peering through the curtains with all the lights off waiting for him to go away…

Okay now he was just being paranoid, of that he was well aware, but something in his gut was still stopping him from getting out of the car.

''_Oh man up you stupid fuck, you're never gonna know if you never even try…'_

…

Pulling into the drive back home, Cody didn't think he'd ever felt so defeated. He'd waited well into the small hours but still Randy hadn't shown. He finally grew the balls to knock on the door but only compounded his misery further at the lack of response. He thought back to how he'd dared to get his hopes up on the drive over, his body alive with nerves, excitement and something akin to unbridled lust at just the thought of seeing Randy again, maybe this time things will be different? They could be… maybe… right?

_Turns out you're just a glutton for punishment… _he smashed his fists into the steering wheel, sick of the gloating of the voices in his own head all the way back home, slamming the door as he got out of the car…

"About fucking time, where the hell've you been?"

"What the fuck? Nowhere, what's it to you all of a sudden?"

Dustin was looming in front of him as soon as he walked in, waving his arms around in annoyance as he tried in vain to get his attention, waggling his eyebrows at him not so subtly as he tried to indicate over his shoulder,

"Just… just out…" he was well aware he was stammering… _Oh my god oh my god oh my god_ _oh my god…_

Cody stared, he just blatantly stared, unashamedly and without any ability to stop.

"Hey…"

"Hey."

Randy had stood from his spot on the couch, nervously hovering behind Dustin, "How've you been?"

Cody shrugged, going from staring to barely able to even look at Randy at all, "Not bad, you?"

"Okay…" Randy was pretty good at shrugging too,

The silence was awkward, and deafening. And awkward. Very awkward. Until both tried to break it at once,

"I went to your house…"

"I went to the bar…"

"I was waiting for you…"

"They said you'd gone home…"

"I needed to see you…"

"I was looking for you…"

"I want to explain…"

"But you weren't there…"

"I want you to know…"

"And you weren't home…"

"I waited for you…"

"I want you to know…"

"And now you're here…"

"That now I'm here…"

Everything they said was said in unison,

"Randy I…"

"Cody…"

"Yeah…?"

"Yeah…?"

They managed a laugh, "This is ridiculous, you go first,"

"No you,"

"Okay…"

And now that he could, he didn't know what to say, he could tell him everything, but he didn't know where to start…

"I saw you today…"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Cody smirked,

"I noticed. I saw you too…"

"So… St Luke's?"

"Um, yeah, I wanted to tell you…" Randy bit his lip, "But you were going away, figured what's the point, you know? Woulda made no difference, too little too late an all that…"

Cody watched him ramble, the pieces falling into place in his mind, maybe, just maybe…

"So I figured maybe just whenever you came back…"

"Randy…"

"How long are you home?"

"Um yeah, about that…"

"You're not coming back?"

"No," the second the word left his lips he saw Randy's face drop, "No, I mean yes, I mean…" he hurried to correct himself, "That's not what I meant… Randy…" he took a deep breath,

"What?"

"I've been here the whole time,"

Randy stared at him, his stomach in his mouth, not sure at first what he was saying, "What? Why didn't you tell me? Are you… are you seeing someone else? Cos I can go…"

"Randy! Get back here! No! I applied local to be near you! But I… well I didn't think I got in, okay? It took ages before they accepted me, and I, well I guess I didn't wanna get my hopes up, you know?"

"Cody…"

"It was my first option, well, _you_ were, Randy… I was waiting for you…"

"What for? You still could've told me…"

"I know, I dunno… For the right time…"

"Will it ever be?"

Cody's shoulders slumped, he couldn't help it, he could feel it all slipping away through his fingers, the more he talked, the more he seemed to talk himself out of it, "Well, what about now?"

"Now?"

"Well, yeah. I dunno, I mean, we're both here…"

"I dunno Cody, it's like…" he sighed,

"It's okay, I understand. I can keep waiting, I mean, I don't mind, if you want… you're worth it…" he took a step forward,

"So… you're staying?"

"Yeah."

Randy chewed his lip, his stomach flipping over and his heart in his mouth, "I waited for you too,"

They were standing face to face, arms aching to touch, aching to feel, Randy couldn't stop his eyes lighting up, couldn't fight down the small glimmer of hope threatening to overcome him, already making its way to the surface, rising until it reached the point of no return… and finally, their lips met… finally, after all this time… finally, after everything they'd been through, maybe they could be together, after all?

…


End file.
